Useful Things To Do With A Dead Person

Call the hospital they were born in and tell them you have a return to make.

 

bring them with you on a greyhound bus so some random psycho doesnt sit beside you and hack you to pieces

 

Strap them into the passenger seat so you can drive in the HOV lanes.

 

Prop them against the door that won't stay open as they are not going any where.

 

Tie a chain around their leg and use them as an anchor for your boat...

 

Audition Them For The Leading Role In The Movie "Weekend At Bernies Pt 2 ".



Cheers Glen.

 

dry them out and use as firewood

 

Put a model rocket in their mouth and jump on their chest for blastoff...

 

stuff em like squirrels .. With stuffed squirrels.. now thats weird huh?.

 

hollow out the head, and install a lightbulb for a lamp!

 

give it to little Suzy so she'll stop asking you to play tea-time with her all the damn time.

 

"So we tanned 'is hide when 'e died, Clyde,
And that's it hangin' on the shed."

 

you can put them on tour and have a million silly kids follow them around..

Oh wait thats what you do with a dead phish..

 

Use them for "man" and "woman" symbols on public washrooms.

Use them for pool floatie toys.

 

use them as spare mannequins....

 

Maggot farming.

 

Shields for paint-balling.

 

paint them white for use as angels at the top of christmas trees...

 

Make Frankensteins out of em....;-)

 

Send them to your next meeting, they are bound to have a better time than you would of.