Useful Things To Do With A Dead Person

shark bait

 

comfy mattress padding...

 

Dry them, cut down the center, scrap out the insides, add hinges and lock to be used as a storage container on the roof of your car.

 

kites...

 

convert into bagpipes.....

 

babysitter

 

Christmas tree top ornament (best to use a baby for this one)

 

packing material for a child abduction

What's the only thing more gross than a truckload of dead babies? A live one in the middle, eating his way out.

 

put in the driver seat of a cop car when he leaves.

 

grind it up ...add ashes and lye


market as hippy earth friendly organic soap

 

Babysitter (my girl gave that one, and she's a daycare worker, so I'm pretty sure she just admitted to having a pointless job =P)

And on that note:
Security guard
Hockey Referee

 

cut the heads off and use for bowling balls.

 

sell the organs on ebay

 

bend knees up before rigor sets in and you have yourself a one space bike rack

 

enter a modeling contest

 

pork-like scratchings...

 

Use as a scarecrow

 

Keep their social and shit as a spare identity

 

erotic services......

 

Punch finger holes in their belly ,then puff on their pickle and make flute sounds.