Many times, I do go out with a purse.....to carry my wallet, phone, hair brush, keys, pad of paper and pen, lipstick, if I am going somewhere special....those are my basic items, but many times, I don't take a purse, as it can sometimes be a burden carrying and looking after a purse, so i do use my pockets...and will just carry money those times, as I , too, don't like things bulging out of my pockets....or sticking me....but you wanted funny for an answer......but I can't think of anything funny and useful at the moment....
Hello, as a lad I used to carry a blitzdings device (engl. neutralizer I think) in my pocket: It helped a lot if trouble was ahead, say after playing truant from school. Regards Gyro