Update

Formerly known as TheSamantha.

I'm no longer a self-proclaimed slut. I am a good partner. I have been in a monogamous, long term relationship for about two years.

I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. I was put on antipsychotics to keep stable.

I was promiscuous because:

1. Sex was the only social outlet I had that didn't lead to drama and sabotage. I felt I couldn't connect with anyone IRL mentally, psychologically, emotionally, or spiritually without me being made to feel worthless and ruined.

2. It distracted me from the voices.

3. It was a exciting: the swinger parties were great fun, alcohol, boxing on TV, Italian food, massages, and sex.

4. I'm a sexual person.

5. I was a sex positive feminist and still am a sympathizer. I believe the double standard is wrong (he's a stud, she's a slut). I feel like since men aren't holding up their end of the bargain in the modern world by being providers, women shouldn't have to hold back sexually. But really, now I don't think either sex should be slutty.

I was an open book here not to showboat but because I thought hippies were open minded and loving. I wanted community. I felt like "if they accept this 'low' part of me, they must REALLY like me." I wanted *unconditional* love.

I still use labels: lone wolf, alternative hedonist, bi, American, centrist. I write a blog about philosophy. That's my passion.

 

Glad you're doing well and have found meds that work for you. Why the screen name change?

 

Sounds like you’ve done a lot of soul searching. Always a good thing!

 

Screen name change due to turning over a new leaf, wanting to be more classy.

 

Thanks so much for the warm welcome!

 

So would you say you're more of a Charlotte now?

In all seriousness i'm glad to hear you're doing well

 

I remember you. Never had a problem with you. I have schizophrenia, too. I never turned to sex, though. Quite the opposite. So it just goes to show we're not all the same at all.

I don't get that men aren't holding up being providers so you get to be more sexually liberated, though. Seems like rewarding men for not doing their jobs?

 

glad to hear you're ok. stick around for a while.

 

Wow. Glad you fought through all that and came out okay on the other side. I can't imagine what it's like to deal with schizophrenia. You must be a very strong person to still be up and standing. Kudos to your stregnth. You too, Neon.

Best of luck to you both

 

Hey. I remember TheSamantha. Welcome back.

 

Speaking for myself, it's not that hard. When I'm on my meds everything is perfectly normal. When I'm off them...hooo boy...