So a lot has transpired today: -The wake, funeral, and repass of my grandmother are officially over. -I took a leap of faith to feel comfort -I became even closer to my mom and stopped feeling too criticized -I became close my sister and she complimented me -My Bible thumper aunt and I healed our rift -I earned the respect of my Manhattan aunt -After days and days of procrastinating, at the wake, I played In the Arms of the Angel by Sarah McLachlan on the piano by ear (by listening to YouTube in one ear) perfectly -My hair is presentable -I have new clothes -I'm wearing winter clothes instead of festive summer clothes in the winter - I stopped listening to my therapist saying that I'm a loner/epicurean split. That's simply an ambivert which is normal. -I refuse to hear her say I'm agnostic. There's no such thing. Gnosis is knowledge and theism is belief. You're either an agnostic theist or an agnostic atheist. You're not sure God exists, but then again, no one is "sure." People who say this are switching back and forth between Christian and atheist. They're confused. You either believe or you don't. Besides, what's spirituality to an agnostic. (It's enough to make me wonder if she can actually be trusted). -I do agree with her that everyone is unique. It's not just me and just everyone else like what LaVeyan Satanists say. And finally: I watched a graphic video of Isis beheading 21 Christians from start to finish to start to cure my mental clutter disease. Negative daydreams = worry. Worry that "they" will get me. "They" will screw me over, one up me, take over my life, harass me, follow me, interrogate me, humiliate me, beg me for money and spend it like it's going out of style, put words in my mouth, or criticize me to the point where it shakes me up.
I got that from the Fight Mediocrity video on YouTube about how to deal with negative comments. It's based on Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Anyway, as they say "too many cooks spoil the stew."
It wasn't meant to be a negative comment...sorry if it came across that way. I was just shocked that anyone could watch something so disturbing as 21 people being brutally slaughtered in order to cure "mental clutter", or to cure anything for that matter. But hey, whatever works I guess. Peace
I'm intrigued: did this exercise seem to work for you? In what way did it inhibit the negative daydreams?
Well no it didn't. I'm lucky it didn't give me PTSD lol. It does make me extremely grateful to live in America though Those poor Christians. And no one seems to know that Christians are persecuted by some Muslims. Muslims are seen as the underdog because they're "brown" and Christians/atheists are "white." Anyway, it's either hearing voices or worry. It's a defense mechanism. It's there to protect me from being controlled or undermined in life I was at Duke. People do what works. If it didn't work I wouldn't do it. There's a payoff. It might even be a product of evolution. So I just manage it, mostly by distracting myself, either in solitude or with comfortable, positive social interactions. If I get disrespected, be assertive or ignore them, walk away, and just suck it up and move on. It's not that often that people disrespect you. I lost my faith. I find atheist YouTubes intriguing and intellectually stimulating. I like logic. And there are things in the back of my mind like "how could all those billions of people be going to hell, like some nice normal Muslim family living in Cairo? What do you mean 'they send themselves to hell?'" So I'm 99% sure that she's gone. It was a "blessing" in disguise. It brought the family closer together and now I can go to bed much earlier. Plus I'll never see that obnoxious caretaker again. And the TV isn't always on, nor are the lights. I'm more concerned with helping my mom get through. I do think there's something poignant about a flower blooming and then shrinking, if you must get sentimental.
Gawd You just threw in the isis video bit to try shock members into replying who otherwise wouldnt have
Lol Yeah, then equate some murdering IS members who behead people on vid with average muslims. Nice try as usual TheS... Oh yeah: Good luck curing your mental issues with that
And this is after saying that grandmother's (the who I lived with, the one who I took to bed every night) funeral was two days ago. SMH.
