One night in the middle of summer last year, my wife and I were enjoying a particularly energetic sex session. I decided it would be a great idea to sneak outside, naked, to have sex on the trampoline, just for the hell of it. In my excitement however, I'd forgotten that the patio doors from our bedroom were alarmed and upon opening them at 3am, our two children were rudely awakened. This took a little bit of careful explaining to them (lying basically!) and, of course, killed our rampant sex session stone dead, both of us without an orgasm. Does anybody else have any similar stories of a sex session that went from wild to nothing within a few seconds?
My wife and I (while dating though) about to climax and pounding on the door by her father because we were being too loud. Definitely not the best night....
http://www.hipforums.com/forum/topic/2346-i-accidentally-had-sex-with-a-couch-revived-edition/ required reading material
My wife and I were doing it rather vigorously one night and when I pulled out I came real fucking hard. Well, I missed my wife completely and figured it was all over the sheet. I wish that were true, because when I went to lay down, I found my load.... all over my pillow and now my right cheek, ear, and some in my mouth.
When a guy I was with accidentally used toothpaste (it was mint!) on my botty hole thinking it was lube. We were away for a dirty weekend, it was dark and the lube and Colgate were next to each other in my toilet bag, which he groped for in the dark. It may have improved the taste and have been the first recorded incidence of anal bleaching, but botties and mint toothpaste DO NOT MIX!!!. Needless to say he missed out .... actually we missed out.
My father was a cop so I had access to handcuffs. My mother walked in on me with a naked girl cuffed to my bed when I was 16.
My wife and I used to do that when we were in our early 30s. We lived at the edge of town, about a block away from a large cemetery. On warm summer nights, we'd wait until after dark, then we'd take a blanket and walk way to the back of the cemetery and find a nice soft grave on which to fuck for an hour or two. I'm guessing that most of the residents didn't mind.
My wife and I have had our son come through to knock on the bedroom door and tell us to "pack it in" during a particularly vigorous late-night, alcohol fuelled sex session! The bedroom door has also been pushed ajar by son or daughter whilst I was busy with my head between my wife's legs....!
We find that a small box of books pushed behind the door prevents such mishaps Jonny! (A lock is just a little too obvious). It may not keep them out but it gives us just enough warning to stop and clamber back under the sheets.
Went to my girlfriend's dorm room for sex..her and her roomate where stones as hell and my buddy and I returned from the bars. Climbed in bed and she was soaking wet willing and loud...Too bad it wasnt my GF.
So am I right in thinking nothing happened for any of you almasty? If so, that is most unfortunate because I love the 'soaking wet' bit!
Way back, before the dawn of time, I was a randy 14 year old recently become skilled in the art of masturbation. I was out in the Australian bush with my .22, chasing rabbits, and came to a river beach. Feeling particularly 'horny' I lay down on the sand a couple of yards from the waters edge, dropped my shorts, and masturbated. After the ejaculation I replace my shorts and stood up. Then I noticed that there was a fisherman on the opposite bank, not 50 yards away from where I stood.
I actually have 2 . Both were with my ex-wife before we were married We both still lived at home with our parents so we would either have to have sex in my bedroom or in my car. One night we were in my bedroom, which was in the basement, and we were going at it pretty hot and heavy. Well I got a little carried away and tried to take an 8" stroke with a 7" penis. I was at the point of cumming and when I hastily tried to shove it back in her and missed her vagina and when balls deep in her butt hole. She let out one hell of a scream and scared the hell out of me. Needless to say this was the first time either of us had anal sex too. Then a couple months later we were in my car. We were both butt ass naked and having mutual oral sex. I was on top and happened to notice it all the sudden it became very bright in the car. I looked up and there was a cops spot light shining in my drivers window. Then I looked over and another cop was trying to look in a steamed up passenger window. We both sat up and were scrambling to find something to cover up with. All I could find was her bra and all she could find was my tighty whities. I rolled down my window and the cop pulled his car so close to mine I could of leaned out and kissed him if I wanted too. At this point my ex rolled down her window and was talking to the other cop, who wouldn't stop looking at her tits. The one cop said he could only see her foot pressed against the windshield because the windows were all steamed up, until he turned on the light and he seen my hairy ass in all it's glory. Then they asked for ID's. I gave him my DL but she didn't have any. I had recently turned 18 but she was just 16.I thought I was in deep shit, but they only yelled at up because I didn't lock the car doors. Then to make things worst my uncle was a cop for the same department. This got back to my folks very quickly. But it wasn't too bad. My mom just laughed about at and decided to tell us about when she got caught in a similar situation with a guy who wasn't my father.
My wife and I haven't taken a vacation without the kids in 10 years. About a month ago decided to lock ourselves in our room. We have a master bathroom with a HUGE tub, a fireplace, and had a big bottle of tequila. My wife lined the bathroom with candles (double sinks, makeup area, and jacuzzi sized tub are in a separate room from the shower/toilet) and we sat in the tub throwing back shots of tequila. We eventually moved to our bed with the fire going and just as we started things up our kids start knocking on the door. They won't go away. They're demanding to know why the door is locked (we never lock it). They're hungry. They're lonely. They want to hang out with us. They're not little, they're 12 and 14, but just weren't getting the hint. Getting them to go away and watch TV or whatever took at least half an hour....they kept coming back. The next day my son is trying to get my wife to explain why the door was locked and why we wouldn't open it. He's 12 and took sex Ed at school this year and was really freaked out by it. He's about to discover girls but not quite there yet. My wife is trying to explain why we needed some time alone and it suddenly dawns on him. He asks, "Were you naked?" Wife says, "yeah" and he says, "Gross, why did you tell me that, that's disgusting, stop talking, stop talking" and he hauled ass to his room. We both burst out laughing. Last week we had the door locked again. Nothing special, we're just watching TV and wanted some time alone. My son starts knocking on the door. He wants in. He's being persistent so my wife yells out, "We're naked!" (we weren't) and all we hear are his footsteps running down the hall and his bedroom door slam shut. It makes me laugh just thinking about it. It won't be long before it's me demanding why HIS door is locked.
I've always wanted to do it on a trampoline but the issue is the ones in Washington are always covered with pine needles... It would just end badly and then both mine and my girlfriends back yards are open to the neighbors...
After a nine hour drive, I was pretty tired, but the gf was pretty horny. After some foreplay, I entered her. . . . . . And fell asleep.
