My girlfriend broke up with me more than 2 months ago and it's fucking up my brain more than it should. She was my first and in the end of our relationship she started getting very hostile and I started getting very mentally dysfunctional. I was always a bit fucked up; i have OCD, tourettes and anxiety. But when I was with her and she still loved me I was very happy. I'm starting to realize that I didn't lose much when we broke up, but my brain is still in this "the purpose of life is my girlfriend" mode. And I just can't do anything with myself. I don't enjoy anything as much as I used to. I wake up I make a coffee, smoke a cigarette and my day is pretty much over; I just do whatever I feel like until I go to sleep again. And the most annoying thing: My brain is just not working as it used to, I can't think anything through. Everything feels forced and I don't feel in the present. I start to think about something and my brain just freezes completely, even my eyes go out of focus sometimes. I feel like nothing is real. She really broke my heart and even now when I KNOW that she's an idiot and that I'm better off alone, I can't enjoy anything like it's just a waste of time because I'm not helping anyone. And while my life feels like hell she just seems to enjoy life like nothing's happened. Feel like my life is off its tracks. And the derealization is so fucking annoying. I'm in a 2D world. Not saying that I would commit suicide but I'm not afraid of death cause I feel like I wouldn't lose anything.
Life and its constituent parts is ALL you have. You need to talk with someone face to face that can help you. Believe me when I say--life is all too short and you do not want to live it being upset about much of anything. Don't know how old you are, but get out of yourself a bit by being around positive people. They're out there. Good luck.
You will be grieving. There is no 'right' length of time for this. They say "the first cut is the deepest". It took me 2 years to recover somewhat from my first. As 'Scratcho' above says. Just hang out with some people. Talk to those you are close to and/or trust.
