Unable to deal with failure

Silly booger butt.

 

oh yeah. heres an age old wisdom tidbit: dont cry over spilt milk

 

OR! "thats the way the cookie crumbles!"

 

I used to be really chill. I don't know what happened. Well i do know what happened, but I don't know why I let it change me.
Enjoy it.

 

Sometimes that's what people (especially women) do when they're overtaxed emotionally... blow up over something insignificant. It's just a way to release all the pent up energy. By the time it gets to that point it probably can't be helped.

 

heheeeeeeeeee

 

yep that's me!

 

I agree 100 percent.

 

How about "The grass grows of its own."

 

The thing is that nothing was taxing me emotionaly. I had just had sex with my husband earlier, my house was clean, no hormonal issues, recently lost some weight, job going well etc.
Just boom out of no where I turned into a freaking psycho.

 

Maybe it was something bothering you that was deeper beneath the surface. Like the intolerance for personal failure built up to where it became an emotional thing. But then again.. maybe you were just PMSing?

 

I am super intolerant and mean to myself. I don't know if I will ever be good enough for me. It's very sad now that I think about it. I need to work on it. I just don't know how. My solution is always "I need to do things better" or "I need to lose weight" or "I need to be a better wife" or "after I have a graduate degree I'll feel better about myself".
I just feel like such a lazy slob sometimes. But in my head, I can figure it out and know that it's not true.
I am def my own worst enemy.

 

Hmm I think unable to deal with failure is an important thing for people.UA used to have a clever sig saying "detach yourself from outcomes".That makes sense.

Anyway , in a lot of things , u cant succeed if there isnt a risk of failure.
Think of a pilot afraid of crashing.A ski jumper.Or someone trying to invest.You cant *guarantee* against some sort of failure.
So maybe just concentrate on doing as well as u can , for the effort u wanna put in?I'd say life is about probabilities , not certainties.

Maybe cognitive therapy , hypnosis , NLP etc would help.Maybe just learning to relax and chill and speak to people?Dunno...

BTW , I havent forgot about the ADD info for u , and the others who asked.Sorry , been v busy...

 

Oh.. it's THE VOICE. Everyone has one of those. That's what THE VOICE does. It blabs on and on, spewing as much negative BS as it can come up with. If you pay attention you can hear it talking all the time.

Don't take it so seriously. Learn to laugh at it. It doesn't mean anything about "you"... that's just what THE VOICE does. Like a broken record. Blah blah blah.

 

yes! It's the voice and mine is so freaking mean.
Do you notice that your voice also sounds a lot like your mom, or is it just me?

 

I really like that.
I gotta go to work and counsel people who may or may not be as crazy as me, but prob aren't and hope I don't fuck them up worse.
Have a good day

 

Thanks .You too

BTW , I dont know but have u thought about limiting the counselling?

I think of sport.Some people are always worrying about a tiny muscle soreness or whatever- missing training etc because of it.Then others ignore everything and tear a hamstring etc.

Sometimes , there's a "middle ground" - a bit of analysis/caution etc , but alot of positive thinking?
Dont know , I'm just thinking out loud a bit..

 

to me - it just sounds like you overreacted over something stupid (which we all do.) .. there are days nothing gets to me, and days where someone can tell me I'm a bad driver and I'll get extremely defensive and almost want to cry. I think that's just life.

I think your problem is a lot more common than you think. I need to be good at everything I do or else I sort of beat myself up over it. seems like you need to work on coping.. not see a therapist

do you write.. like journal write? or meditate?

 

Of course! Everyone has a voice like that and it's always the meanest it can possibly be. That's its job. That's what it does.

The trick is to not believe it. Because that's when we get sucked in and start feeling bad emotionally. See if you can hear it and remember that "it" and "you" are not one and the same. Then you won't take it personally. You may not be able to make that distinction right away, but just practice and it'll happen. I've done it... and feel loads better now on a regular basis. It's kinda like tuning in to a radio frequency that's always set to NASTY. lol! We can tune out of that and in to something else... like GRATITUDE for example. Just start thinking of anything and everything that you're grateful for NOW... big or small.. it doesn't matter. And see how fast your mood changes. It's a tiny and FREE exercise we can do that has a powerful effect... and doesn't require therapy.

Yes, my Voice often sounds like my mom... but that's probably cause she acted like a meanie and told me she hated me. But in all fairness she couldn't distinguish between "herself" and "the voice inside her mind" so she just projected all the nastiness she heard onto me. Most people do that, as a matter of fact. It's kind like being possessed.