Ugly truth about therapy

I'm gonna drop some ugly truth bombs on therapy culture. It may bother some of you, but here it goes.

Therapy is harmful and it destroys you.

This is what I have concluded after spending lots of time in front of different therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists throughout my life.

After having sought therapy for my anguishes, being put on behavior altering drugs during my childhood, and finding out how many of these specialists have their own problems, I firmly believe that therapy is detrimental to your well being.


Society likes to tell us that it's bad bury your problems and repress your feelings and problems, and they must always be discussed and talked about. This is bullshit. Sitting in a room talking to a therapist, doesn't solve any of these problems. How does it solve problems? If you have any problems, the best way to overcome them is by taking action. Being a man of action is how you conquer your problems. Not by sitting down and talking about it; that is inaction. Therapy is inaction.

After WWI or WWII, many cities and countries were ravaged. Many people had been through hell. But they took action and rebuilt their lives and continued on. They didn't sit around and talk about their war stories with a therapist. There is nothing wrong with internalizing your problems, moving on, and getting shit done.

Not only is it an inaction that doesn't solve your problems, but I firmly believe it is actually harmful to you as well.

In the short run it might feel good to rant and blow off steam to someone who's willing to listen to you bitch and complain, but this is how therapists make a living. They profit off of your insecurities and personal problems. In the long run, the more you talk about your problems, everything bad that has ever happened to you, and all the negativity you experienced. All it's going to make you miserable and even more depressed than before you began the therapy.

I'll prove this point by bringing up Robin Williams, a famous and very talented actor who killed himself. Why did he do it? He had it all. Fame, millions of dollars, the ability to just about anything he wanted. He could've been sleeping with young women deep into his old age, he had no enemies or negative attention in the media, and he was loved by all. So why did he kill himself? Therapy! (And psychotropic meds). Robin Williams saw a therapist a few times a week for 12 years straight, talking over and over again about all the negative things that has happened to him in his life. Of course you're gonna wanna kill yourself eventually. TBH, when I was seeing a cognitive behavior therapist, I was beginning to feel the same way as Robin Williams before his fate. It wasn't until I took some action, made some necessary lifestyle changes, and leaving therapy, that life improved. Sitting around and crying about problems does not help you.

Next time you think you need a therapist to talk about your first world problems, just remember there are people in the middle east who have lost their whole families to a bomb blast, who don't have the money to pay for a therapist. Yet they have no choice but to repress those problems, and keep on moving forward with their livelihoods, making bread to sell on the streets, so they can save up enough to buy a good pair of shoes next season. If they can keep on with their lives without therapy, so can you.

Getting a client better is not part of a therapist's business model. They want you to keep coming back. They make good easy money by being a person for you to bitch and complain all your problems to. If their client's problems go away, so does that money they could've made. Another thing therapist do, is they talk in riddles. By saying things like, "Why do you think that is?" "How come you feel that way?" Therapist talk like this because if they make statements to the client, they could be wrong. By asking questions, they can never be wrong. The more questions they ask, the longer the client speaks. The longer the client speaks, the more money they make. Meanwhile the client continues talking about negative shit about their life, thereby making their problems worse.

Bottom line: if you want your life to improve, take action. Don't sit around and talk about it, while continuing a life of inaction.

 

My parents forced me into some kind of therapy as a child. I believe it had to do with having a learning disability. Then again the school forced me to see a therapist when i was a teenager because i got into some trouble. I felt the school overreacted. Then i went voluntarily when i was a young adult. I believe i was about 22 years old. Then i realized i was trying to be someone i'm not. Trying to fit in where i don't. It didn't destroy me or harm me but helped me realized i don't belong there. I guess everyone has their own unique experiences with this, but i agree its best to take action. Even just sitting alone with yourself can be far more therapeutic. Art, fitness, meditation, writing, poetry, nature hikes, etc, can also be far more therapeutic. I feel people should be careful not to be too dependent on others when facing (or perhaps running away from) their personal problems.

 

Bollocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Indeed. Fitness, writing, drawing, hiking, traveling etc. can be a better coping mechanism for people than to sit in a room talking about it, and taking FDA approved drugs that will make your body physically and mentally dependent on them. The FDA is corrupt as your average politician.

 

Good therapists generally recommend taking action in my experience, talking is merely the starting point.

 

I'm with 'shaman on this one. I was sent to the school psychologist, who recommended me to a psychologist, which I saw every week for a number of years growing up. "Talk about things!" they said. It'll make you feel better. Told me that my best friend and my cousin both talked to these guys and they felt better. What bullshit. I found out that everything I said was relayed to mom and dad, as well as others. I never trusted anyone who didn't earn that trust again.

I came home from school one day in my sophomore year and dad told me to change clothes and dress up. My cousin had shot himself and we're going to the funeral home. Yeah, those psychologists really have the cure all right.

 

I think you are implying that because someone is in therapy, then they can't also take action. That doesn't add up. Who says you can't see a therapist and also take steps to improve your life? A good therapist would likely help you most if you don't know what action to take, or if you have a history of taking the wrong actions. I'm sorry that you had some bad experiences, but I don't think that personal experience is enough to discount something.

 

Not truth bombs. Just opinion bombs.

It can be harmful or helpful, depending on certain variables: (1) the kind of therapy; (2) the skill and personality of the therapist; (3). the patient's mindset and willingness to co-operate in therapy. On another thread, you mention your dissatisfaction with psychiatry because it pushes unnecessary medication. That can be a problem with psychiatrists, since that's increasingly what they do. It can be helpful if you need the medication for functioning, but the side effects need to be weighed against the benefits. With talk therapy, especially the psychoanalytical or Rogerian kinds, just by going there you essentially are admitting that you have a problem and are not functioning properly on your own. Insurance companies always require a diagnosis, so the shrink will have to pin some label on you from the DSM to continue therapy, whether it quite fits or not. And the therapy process forces the patient to focus on his problems and deficiencies. I think it's possible to hypnotize yourself into a mindset of inadequacy by doing that often enough. I think a good therapist will recognize when a patient is stuck like that and try to correct it. Cognitive-behavioral approaches tend to avoid this pitfall, but the patient hoping to find somebody who will sympathize with the way his mother mistreated him at the age of 3 those therapists aren't interested. Insurance companies are increasingly pushing the latter kind of therapy, in hopes it will get the patient in and out quickly. Unless you're a Hollywood star these days, or are otherwise independently wealthy, CBT may be the only option available these days, although Rogerian through a counseling psychologist or a social worker is also available at a reasonable price, and there's always pastoral counseling.

 

So true. therapy should work the same way as when you break your leg.
Pain killers to get you through transport, any surgery and splinting. A supply of lower dose painkillers only if pain is preventing sleep or becomes unbearable at any point.
Almost everyone in this situation wants to get back to normal ASAP and doctors often have to advise them to slow down to allow the bones to mend.

Mental trauma needs to be treated in exactly the same way.
Like the broken bone, sitting at the side of the road, moaning about it and filling yourself up with painkillers is going to do nothing. Correct and positive action is needed.

Positive talking, particularly to people involved with your problem can be key to resolving it, but dwelling on it and moaning to people who are not involved simply allows anxiety to build up even more.

 

When I did therapy, the only "actions" my therapists instructed were to take stimulants or anti-depressants to solve my problems. Another therapist told me to keep a journal to write all my thoughts down.

That journal didn't help for shit. And the meds caused more problems than they solved.
One day I missed an appointment with my therapist on purpose. She called me up and asked when I wanted to reschedule. I said sorry, and that I don't think I need her help anymore. She was stunned for a moment. I let her know that I have taken the steps to improve my professional and personal life and I didn't need to talk about anything anymore. I could tell she wasn't too happy.

The only positive thing I kinda got out of therapy, was learning how to adhere with a daily to-do list. But that's about it.

 

My sister is a psychiatrist. Shrinks gets kickbacks from drug companies when they prescribe certain meds.
Now There’s Proof: Docs Who Get Company Cash Tend to Prescribe More Brand-Name Meds — ProPublica

If a person has problems in life related to their situations, they can overcome it with a mindset adjustment. Life coaching is a better alternative to psychotherapy.

I think that mental health treatments like psychiatry are better reserved for more severe mental illnesses. Rather than petty stuff like: Unable to pay attention in lectures, Situational depression, Hyperactivity, Social anxiety, Stage freight, and more.

 

I tend to agree, up to a point. Earlier, you mention: "After having sought therapy for my anguishes, being put on behavior altering drugs during my childhood, and finding out how many of these specialists have their own problems, I firmly believe that therapy is detrimental to your well being." From this, I gather that you originally went to the therapist and were put on behavior alterning drugs because somebody else thought you were having problems or were a problem. I'd guess the someone else was a teacher or a parent. Maybe part of your problems in therapy stemmed from your feeling that you didn't need it, or it was foisted on you. Involuntnary treatment is much more problematic than voluntary therapy. Also, it's possible to be satisfied with your own behavior while people around you think you're really in need of help.

I know a number of paranoid schizophrenics--the one I mentioned on the other thread who offed himself, another one who thought the Trilateral Commission was after him, a third one who thought it was the telephone company, and a fourth one who thought he was working for the CIA which was sending him encrypted messages over the TV. All of these guys thought they had problems, but didn't think they were the problem. All resisted treatment. One, who had been institutionalized for awhile mentioned how awful Haldol made him feel. Should they have found life coaches and taken action on their own? Unfortunately, when they took action on their own, they tended to get themselves into trouble, sometimes with the police. In a fascinating example of synchronicity, the guy who thought the phone company was after him stopped by one day really agitated. He said he'd offered a ride to a hitchhiker whom he soon became convince was an agent of the phone company because of the implausible story the hitchhiker gave him. Said he was a Marielito from Castro's Cuban prisons and was trying to find his wife. I happened to know the story was true. The Cuban was the husband of my co-worker, was under restraining order for spouse abuse, and was making death threats against everyone in her office, including me. Fortunately, that didn't end in violence, but it easily could have. The young man who committed suicide I knew best. His homelife resembled R.D.Laing's double bind. Dad ran off with a young thing he met at a class he was taking for professional development. Mom took to her bed and became chronically sick. Everybody in the family made clear they thought my friend was a looser who would never get anywhere in life--in contrast to his brother who operated a body shop. A lot for a therapist to handle. No wonder my friend committed suicide.

If the client is Ted Bundy or Charles Manson, telling them to take action instead of sitting around talking about their problems might not be the best advice. Not that I think therapy would have slowed them down much, but at least we need to acknowledge that they had real pyshcological problems that were beyond their own capabilities to solve, even if they wanted to, which is unlikely.

 

I happen to think it's great idea not to bury your problems and repress your feelings, and that it's good to talk them over in a safe environment with receptive, non-judgemental people. Problem is, "society" may like to tell us that, but the avenues for doing this are rare and restricted. The clergy or the local shrink are about it. People at work don't usually want to hear about co-workers' problems. Of course there are parents and spouses, but sometimes they're the issues you need to talk about. I've been fortunate in finding a group where I can do this without a shrink. We get together twice a week, lately outdoors in our masks, and talk about anything on our minds. It's been great in getting my head straight on work and marital issues.

If they had PTSD, maybe they would have benefited from therapy.What Are the Treatments for PTSD?

Is there evidence that Williams offed himself because of the therapy? His wife says it was because of lewey body dementia, and he did suffer from depression mos of his life, complicated by treatment for Parkinsons'.

According to Maslow's need hierarchy, humans are motivated to take care of their physiological and safety needs first, before they can indulge the luxury of worrying about belonging and esteem needs, not to mention self-actualization. Being preoccupied with survival and safety does occupy the mind, leaving little time for the less pressing wants that take us into therapy.
Yet most of us don't want to live our lives at those lower levels, and may accept a certain amount of neurotic concern about belonging and self-esteem. ,

Therapists are trained to ask open-ended, value-neutral questions so that he patient will open up and provide relevant information that the therapist might miss. The stereotypical question: how did that make you feel? can be annoying, but becoming aware of one's feelings can lead to therapeutic breakthroughs. Characterizing this as dilatory is cynical, and may explain why you had so little success with therapy.

Bottom line. If you want a successful therapeutic experience, get your ego out of the way and develop some reasonable expectations about what a therapist can do for you.

 

I don’t think therapy is a bad thing. Ultimately, in my opinion, it’s designed to help get to the root of the problem and then identify possible solutions to help fix the problems, but the onus is on the individual, not the therapist. Therapy is never a guaranteed “cure”. We just need someone to talk to that we can trust. I have plenty of friends I can reach out to and talk about ANYTHING that bothers me, and that helps a lot! If I just suppress all that agitation and anger, it has negative affects on me mentally and physically.

And yeah, I agree that some therapists suck, and absolutely have no business being in the profession. They lack the personality to be able to connect with a patient, and that’s why every now and then, you hear about patients going “Rambo” on therapists at clinics.

 

also someone who won’t possibly judge you Or know you personally, and what you say remains private. This is the ugly truth about therapy though. So what he said is true and ugly. It is hard to find a good one. Therapists in the usa only require a BS in psychology. I do not believe this is enough education in my opinion considering what 5hey are doing, Masters would be a minimum in my opinion + experience working under someone else, perhaps a psychologist in the USA who requires a PhD in...

 

Wells Fargo?

Sorry...not making light of the topic.

 

Ive never had a therapist manipulate or twist anything Ive said. They usually just sit there and listen. That's what they is suppose to do.
My life coach was once a flight attendant so we kick it when Im there for aviation download. Its real, cant talk to family or friends about that ..and its depressing..

 

The problem with all those fine activities is that you don't get a perspective other than your own. As for the FDA, it was and is the standard Republican complaint that it was too strict in not approving potential "wonder drugs" like Laetrile or Hydrochloroquinine from the market. What are you? Some kind of commie in wanting more government regulation?

I don't know of any licensed therapists in the U.S. or any insurance companies will pay for who have only a BS in psychology.

 

Very well put. But I think an important point is that like just about everything else, one size doesn't fit all. Some people may need somebody to talk to. Others may benefit more from a trip to the mountains or desert alone. My problem with the OP is that it's a blanket condemnation of a wide range of approaches toward the treatment of mental illness and disorders based on one person's limited personal experience of a relatively small sample of them.

 

It’s frustrating when you have counselors that clearly don’t care and are distracted by other nonsense. I’ve physically seen it with my own eyes and can somewhat sympathize with what the OP is saying- I’ve seen it and it’s scary. Yes, at the end of the day, it’s up to the patient to figure out how they are going to make things better for themselves- some people don’t know or realize that all they have to do is remove themselves from that chaotic environment, to get some fresh air and reflect on what is actually good in their lives.
And there’s some that are freakin drama queens and really don’t want help- they want the attention. Those are the first ones to blame everything that went wrong in their childhood, on mom and dad, and use it as an excuse for why their life sucks. No accountability or the desire to take charge of their own destiny.