First off before you read this I need to make a few points. 1. I don't have an ulterior motive for posting. I don't want to share my fantasies, be degraded, or have people degrade my girlfriend. 2. I don't want people to agree with me or tell me I was in the right or play the victim in any way. I am well aware of everything I've done and why I did it. I am also not attempting to justify anything I've done. I've been with my girlfriend for 21 years. When we met I had been dating a girl for 8 months and my girlfriend had been dating a guy for 10 months. I was 21 years old and she was 20. We hit it off right away and she tried to kiss me the first night we hungout. I rejected her as I'm not a cheater. The second night we hungout we did kiss and she wanted to have sex in my vehicle, but I refused. The third night we hungout she aggressively grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into my bedroom in full view of a few of my friends. We did have sex that night. The next day I broke things off with the girl I was seeing and my future girlfriend went and had sex with her boyfriend. She 2 timed him for around a month before breaking it off. Our relationship was great for about 9 months and I even asked her to marry me. She said yes. I am well known locally and with a familiar name comes rumors. Most of those rumors consisted of me having sex with other women. There wasn't an ounce of truth to any of it. At first my girlfriend didn't second guess my denying what she heard. However it eventually wore her down. In an odd twist about 14 months into our relationship the mutual female friend who actually introduced me and my gf decided she wanted to break us up. I asked her why and she said "because you two have what I want". Yea she's a psycho. Then one night she told my gf I had told her I was having sex with another girl. This was false. My gf didn't ask questions and physically attacked me. Thinking things were over I told my gf I actually had sex with our mutual friend. My thinking was if This girl was going to destroy my relationship then I'd destroy her friendship with my gf. In an even more insane twist the mutual friend admitted this was true! After a few days my gf claimed she believed me and we reconciled. A couple weeks later she began hanging out with a new girl. They would go to bars a couple of nights a week and this wasn't my thing so I didn't go. 1 day my gf called and asked to borrow $20 to go to the bar. She said she didn't make it to the bank on time. This was before everybody had atm cards and cell phones. I said I would give her money. However a friend asked me to stop over so I called my gf to let her know I'd leave the money on my counter. My gf already left so I called her friend she was meeting since her friend had a cell phone. The friend said she was on her way to meet my gf and I explained what was going on and that I'd leave the money on my counter. However in an attempt to be funny I made a joke about the guy my gf was seeing behind my back and her responded in shock "Omg she told you about Aaron?" I was blown away. I asked my gf about Aaron and she admitted she's seeing him and refused to break it off. She went on and on about how great he was. I will admit I was heartbroken and turned into a complete sap. For about 2 weeks I begged her to stop seeing the guy. She still had sex with me and denied that she had had sex with Aaron. She once permitted me to accompany her and her friend to the bar. As soon as we walked in the door my gf slapped some random guy's butt and ignored me all night while acting like a flirty hoe. She even told me about some other guy she kissed during this 2 week period but didn't know his name. A girl asked me on a date and I told my gf about it hoping she'd get jealous. It backfired and she encouraged me to go. Nothing physical happened between the girl and I. However I did have sex with a girl who was a known "tramp" during this 2 week break. After about a week and a half the Aaron guy found out about me and discarded my gf. She then came back to me and apologized. She denied having sex with Aaron so foolishly I forgave her. I do remember during this first week or so that we were back together a guy I had heard my gf mention before called her phone at 2am. To this day she claims to not know why this guy called. For the next few months I was on cloud 9. However my gf refused to answer any questions about Aaron and immediately became defensive. Remembering what she was like when I first met her I determined there was no way she didn't have sex with the guy. I began distancing myself and then my gf found out she was pregnant. She set an abortion appt twice, but I refused to go along with it. So we had a baby. For the next 4 years life with my gf was awful and our relationship was very unusual. We never lived together and still don't to this day. Why? My gf didn't want my stuff at her house. However I was forced to stay the night at her place. However I slept on the couch because our child slept in bed with her. For the first few months after Aaron discarded my gf I had a huge fear of her finding out about the girl I had sex with. She also threw the girl I went on a date with in my face and accused me of having sex with her, although she encouraged my going on the date. I am well known and I received lots of female attention. I used to reject every woman because I was loyal. Then one day I asked myself why I'm being loyal to this woman. From that point on she lost my loyalty. If a woman approached me who I found attractive I just did what I did. However I made certain it was known this was a hook up or fling. I was constantly accused of cheating with nothing to back up her accusations. I was denied sex 95% of the time and if I stopped trying my gf would then accuse me of cheating. She justified cheating with the Aaron guy and the guy she kissed at a party by claiming she did this to get revenge for what I did with our former mutual friend. Even though I explained every single time that it false, but she has always maintained something happened and still does to this day. I wasn't allowed to go to bars and she even forbid me to go to the gym. She was ruthlessly mean to me as well. However she felt entitled to go out whenever she wanted and often disappeared for an hour or 2. She always blamed this on her sister she was out with. Then one day 16 years ago I had her phone and a guy called. He was rude and hung up on me. When I questioned my gf she claimed it was a guy her dad does work with and he was probably scared of me. I was familiar with the name so I accepted the story. In a stroke of bad luck on her end I saw her phone bill on the counter. She had been calling this guy 5x or more a day, everyday that month. This was at a time before texting. I confronted her and she maintained it was work related and they were playing phone tag. She claimed he was nice and never hit on her. However he invited her to come stay at his cabin, but also invited her family. She also denied any interest because he was fat and ugly? I accepted this because I had seen him and he was. 15 years ago she was at a bar while I was out of town and she fell and broke her ankle. The break was severe and required surgery. For 2 months my gf had a cast up to her hip. Our child was only 3 so I had to sacrifice a lot to pick up the slack for 2 months. As soon as she healed she asked if she could go out with her sister. She didn't come home until 4am. When she came home she was combative and said she didn't want to be with me anymore. For the next 3 weeks her phone never left her side. She was extremely mean to me and was going out several nights a week with her younger sister and staying out until 4am. One night I was out of town and came back to her house and her 15 yr old sister was watching our 3 yr old. Our child was awake and her sister and an adult man in the house. Things climaxed when I was in a town 2 hrs away for my best friend's wedding. I was his best man and was at the rehearsal when my gf called and demanded that I come back to town and watch our child because she had plans. I explained where I was and my gf said that's fine, she'll have her 15 yr old sister watch our child and she'll let her have that adult man over. She then put our 3 yr old on the phone and she begged me to come home because she didn't like the guy. My child melts my heart so I left the wedding rehearsal and drove 2 hrs back to my gf's house. She was flying out the door the instant I pulled up. I said she needs to be back by midnight because I had to be back in the town for the wedding at 9am for pictures. Naturally she came home at 4am. I demanded to know who she's been cheating with and she denied there was anybody and attacked me. I slapped her back and left. She then called and taunted me saying I'm going to jail. The next day I called a friend who's a local cop and he confirmed there was a warrant for my arrest. He told me to turn myself into him in 2 days when he works again. Everything was eventually dropped, but the day before I turned myself in my gf called and asked to talk. She apologized for how she'd been acting and then she mentioned a man who's name I was familiar with because he had worked for her dad and her younger sister she was going out with used to hook up with the guy. She said she liked hanging out with him because he reminded her of her ex. What's crazy is that statement didn't bother me until recently. All I cared about is if she had sex with him and she denied it. For years she wouldn't explain why she even mentioned this guy's name. You might be asking why I stayed all these years. Well the threat of never seeing my child again was used to control and punish me. Her parents are millionaires and horrible people who love drama. They pledged to help her back up this threat. I'm not looking for any recognition for staying for my child. I love my kid so I did what I did. After this incident I began staying at my own house. I went to my gf's everyday and stayed until her and my child went to bed. However what she did was awful and the gloves were now off. I didn't just take up certain women on their advances like before. Now I actually pursued women. A year after this a girl began training with my group. Once she became comfortable with me she asked if I knew the guy my gf had mentioned a yr earlier. I asked why and she said a yr before she worked at a bar and this guy was in there bragging he's having sex with my gf. Naturally I confronted her and she denied it. She also deflected and accused me of cheating with the girl who told me. I never was or did. My gf still accused me of cheating and denied me sex on a regular basis. However she didn't go out as much and I've never really noticed her being protective of her phone. However if I ever mentioned anything she immediately deflected to my phone and I did have things to hide. So I avoided the subject. Now throughout all of these years my gf never pushed to live together, get married and she flat out refused to have more kids. The only incidents that stand out to me are 6 years after she had me arrested and was acting shady I had a convo with her brother in law. This guy is married to my gf's oldest sister. I forget exactly what he said or what brought it up, but he was talking about the guy my gf mentioned who she claimed reminded her of her ex. What he said implied that this guy had sex with my gf AND BOTH of her younger sisters. Naturally I brought this back to my gf and she denied doing anything and claimed her brother in law was talking about her 2 younger sisters who did have sex with this guy. Also after 10 yrs of lying during some dirty talk while having sex my gf finally admitted she did have sex with the Aaron guy. She said they had sex 2-3 times and has always refused to give details. However from that point on she no longer denied it. Ok so now I'm going to take things someplace sexual as this is important when determining who my gf really is. About 17 yrs ago I asked to record my gf and I having sex. She was hesitant and seemed embarrassed, but she actually seemed to get into it. What happened was over the course of the next yrs I would occasionally get myself off watching this video. However I found myself being turned on imagining I was watching her with another man. Now I'm not a cuckold nor have I ever wanted to engage in a 3some. I've never wanted her to know the other man. I was essentially the director. Also this other man eventually became a black man...which is a thing and idk why the thought got me going. A few other important details about my girlfriend. 1. For a period of 8 years starting 12 years ago she began working out. She is very attractive, but she was always sort of soft. She looked great. 2. She has only once shaved her vagina. Now I'm into a hairy vaj, idk why, but she never shaved it and often didn't even trim it. The only time she shaved it was way back when she was messing with the Aaron guy. I'll elaborate on the importance of this later. She didn't shave, but her legs were always shaved and she even went to the tanning bed. I'd compliment how she'd look and she often responded "I know I look good" 3. She is very social and very likeable, however she's never wanted friends. Her only friends were her 2 younger sisters. I've seen women exchange numbers with her and contact her later, but she blew them off. Her youngest sister got married and moved out of state 9 yrs ago and her bff sister got married and moved out of state 4 yrs ago. So all she has left was me. 4. She never got into social media. She only joined Facebook 3 yrs ago to download a new workout program. She has had Instagram for 7 yrs but her Instagram was boring and nothing really stuck out as shady. I'll elaborate on this later as well. When my gf and I first met I was really into her. I had got around a little bit before we met and actually lost track of my number. So when this came up I was worried not knowing my number would scare her off so I told her it was 13 and she would be 14. I choose this number because it was something I could remember and sounded believable. My gf's number was 6 and I was the 7th. This will be important later as well. However when discussing past partners I messed up. She mentioned a 1 night stand in a car and claimed the guy didn't finish because she was disgusted by what she did. She Also mentioned a guy who's a known sleaze. Before she could tell me what happened I lashed out that she better not have had sex with him. She said she didn't. She said he pulled his pecker out and told her to suck it. When she refused he got mad and never talked to her again. These 2 stories are important for later too. I'll also elaborate on why I feel I messed up by getting upset with her when she mentioned this guy. Now for years she always blamed some friend of hers for her messing with the first 5 guys before her bf she was dating when we met. She also blamed her other friend for Aaron and the guy she kissed. She blamed her saying she pressured her and she also blamed me claiming she did it to get revenge. So throughout the years there were two guidelines I followed. I never so much as talked to a girl while out with my gf. I also never hooked up with any girls my gf knew or we met and I certainly didn't hook up with any girls I knew from the bars my gf and I went to together. These guidelines first began because my gf would fight with me if she even saw me acknowledge another woman while out. Back to the sexual stuff... It started with dirty talk while having sex. Eventually my gf warmed up to it and would ask if I wanted to watch her suck a bbc. She also would occasionally mention a bbc before I did. However this only happened after a night of drinking. My gf had her moments, but for the most part she wasn't sexual and for the last 10 yrs we almost never had sex unless she had been drinking. On multiple occasions when I would talk her into sex without drinking I would have trouble getting inside of her. She would always say "see I haven't been with anybody". Well...I never said she was. Now remember my gf had always said I was her 7th. Now her number stood at 8. Well 1 night 8 yrs ago we were having sex and while dirty talking I asked how many cocks have been inside her. Without missing a beat she replied "27". Naturally I asked her about it after and she deflected and claimed she only said that because I'm a perv. I don't understand why she'd say a higher number. One thing I liked about this drunken dirty talk was my gf never mentioned it or questioned me about it after. Over the years there are several things I believed. 1. I always believed she would cheat. However I never thought she'd hook up and foolishly I felt I'd notice something before it happened. 2. I never believed she had sex with that guy she mentioned 15 yrs ago. In fact when we bonded later I'd ask why she didn't cheat and her excuses were she changed after having our kid and that nobody ever hit on her. 3. I always believed my child was a factor that would keep her from having a man over. I thought she'd never invite a man in after our kid had fell asleep. This was a thought because I have had many women sneak me in after their kids were asleep. 7 yrs ago I asked a girl if I could take pics and record us having sex. She agreed so I asked others. Over the last 7 yrs only a handful refused. So I have an extensive homemade porn collection as well as tons of videos with my gf. In fact on our nights out together I always made sure to bring a camera. The idea of her actually having sex with another man never made it past drunk dirty talk for years. After our child became mobile my gf and I went out together a lot. We did sort of bond. 3 yrs ago while out she sort of dared me to dare her to go flirt with a man for a drink. This evolved and eventually became something she did alot and she started flirting with black men. What shocked me was how good she was at it. She was very comfortable flirting with anybody. However once our kid was mobile my gf didn't seem interested in seeing me unless we were going out. So this meant we saw each other maybe once a week. For the first 5 years of me staying at my own house she called me almost every night to check on me. She always wanted to catch me cheating. Whenever she thought she had some legit dirt on me she didn't seem hurt or mad. It was more like "ha I finally caught you" 2 years ago I created a fake Instagram acct and messaged her. I wasn't trying to catch her doing anything wrong. Actually my twisted self got off on the idea of trying to flirt my way into hooking up with her as someone else. However she didn't respond and the next day she told me about the message. Shortly after that we were talking and she said she wants to confess to a couple of things she lied about. She told me that the one night stand guy in her car actually did finish. She also confessed that her and the sleazy guy were about to have sex and his pecker touched the inside of her thigh and she freaked out and made him stop. Now this story sounded like bs. However I asked for details about sex with Aaron and she claimed to not remember a single thing. I am good friends with a guy who is best friends with the sleazy guy. I wanted him to ask him if he had sex with my gf yrs ago. The guy said he didn't. I was disappointed. Why? I was getting off on the idea of hearing another man's description of having sex with my gf. Weird, I know. So then I thought of Aaron. I contacted him and what he said started a snowball of lies and bs that had mentally destroyed me. He denied having sex with my gf. There are more unimportant details, but his memory of events lines up with mine. However I brought this back to my gf and she insisted he's lying and claimed they dated seriously for 2 months and she was with him everyday. Well obviously I knew this was completely false as I was around. She then mentioned the guy she kissed during that time. She noe knew his name. I contacted this guy and while he said they did only kiss he had a completely different version of that night. His version included knowing she was dating me and her and the guy meeting at the bar and going to the party together. There were several other big lies and I suddenly remembered the guy from 15 yrs ago that she mentioned. I truly had forgotten about him. Her lies aren't important, but it was clear she was lying about something. This started off 10 months of pure hell. I interrogated her about it daily and even talked to the guy twice. He denied it as well. They even had a Facebook convo which she showed me. I searched her Facebook as I had her password. It's unimportant why I had it. Now she only searched me a few times in 3 yrs. She searched a couple of guys from her past, but nobody suspicious. However she searched extensively on several occasions for her ex she was dating when we met. This is when it hit me. In 20 yrs I can't think of a single compliment she's ever given me. I heard lots about her ex and how nice this Aaron guy was. She even gave this guy from 15 yrs ago a twisted compliment where she seemed impressed about his bragging he hooked up with a different girl everyday when he was in college. Shoot had I said something like that she'd have called me a pig. I even had a female friend attempt to get the truth out of this guy. While he denied even knowing my gf or her sisters he wasted no time sending this girl a picture of his pecker. When I told my gf this her response bugs the heck out of me. She said "sounds like he hasn't changed" So she always knew he was a sleaze. Exactly the type of guy she's always claimed to hate. I turned to her Instagram acct and all I found was a guy who liked 2 selfies of hers 6 years earlier. She claimed to not know him or have ever followed him but they had 2 convos on her Instagram posts. Her and this guy didn't follow each other but I believed they had to at some point. He rejected my follow request, but naturally accepted a pretty female friend of mine. 6 years ago my gf liked 3 of shirtless douchey selfies. The guy also posted a meme that said "if your girls liking my pics she's my girl now" So the result of this interrogation was my gf became very sexual and treated me amazing. She sent nudes and videos masturbating. She claimed she realized she didn't treat me right. She lives about a mile from a casino and her and I went there to drink very often. I began to ask around about her and had several people tell me they saw her at the casino with other guys. I began catching her lying about going out by herself. My gf also stopped working out 4 yrs ago. She's still pretty but she has definitely gained some weight. I got into the best shape of my life 3 yrs ago and loved how I looked. I received lots of compliments while my gf always said I looked gross and sick. About a year ago it finally happened. We were out and she went into a gas station for 2 mins and came out with a black guy's number. She claims he hit on her immediately and she got his number. She called him to the bar we were at and she sucked his dick in his truck. She jumped in right away with no problem and sucked it for about 30 seconds. She then said she can't do this and wanted to leave immediately. After that she refused to mess with a black guy. She was 40 so the new target was a young guy in his early 20s. She would flirt for the next few months, but nothing happened. Then 1 day my past caught up with me. We saw a girl I hooked up with one time 2 years earlier. An argument ensued and my gf went back to the bar and got enough details to make it seem as if this happened. She gave me the silent treatment and we didn't see each other for 2 weeks. For some reason 3 days after this incident I drove by my gf's house. It was 10pm on a Tues yet she was gone. She admitted at 3am she was at the casino, but was home by 1030. So why didn't I ever confess? Well I've always believed if she had proof I'd ever cheated she would be done no questions asked. Also over the years I became so emotionally disconnected with sex with other women that it meant nothing and I didn't even think enough about it to have any remorse. Now my gf had told me about guys who'd hit on her when she was out without me. One was a 21 yr old guy who told her he had a gf and a baby on the way, but then proceeded to ask my gf if they're hooking up. This is also an important detail for later. One night about 3 weeks after this I met her at the casino. She didn't want me to meet her and acted nervous and shady. Actually the night ended with me leaving because I couldn't find her. To this day she claims she was sitting in a spot she definitely wasn't as I looked at it multiple times. 4 days later we went out. On our way home she blurted out she needs to confess something. She told me the Tues I drove by she was at the casino and met a guy and had sex with him. She claimed he was 25 and she didn't know his name. She said she did it because she thought it'd make her feel better. She was quick to say she didn't suck his dick and he wore a condom. She also claimed she told me because she felt guilty. Initially being a freak this turned me on and I banged the heck out of her. However after I asked questions and realized she was lying about something. I left and the next day I dropped a truth bomb. Remember how I didn't know my number when I met my gf? Well a year later I made a list and figured it out and I added to it after. My gf was #70 and I informed her I am currently sitting at 634 women I've had sex with. I also admitted I did have sex with the girl from the bar. My gf decided to confess she got a ride home from the bar by the guy on her Instagram. They kissed but she said she can't do this and went inside. The most confusing one is the fat and ugly guy who called her phone 16 years ago. She admitted she went and stayed at his cabin with him. They didn't have sex or even kiss, but he fingered her. My biggest hang up here other than the ridiculous story that's so dumb it's either a horrible lie or the complete truth, is that she'd have had to put a lot of planning into going and staying with this guy. Also at that time she'd have never stayed at a cabin with me. She'd have complained it's dirty and buggy. But then the big one... She did have sex with the guy 15 yrs ago. They had sex 5 times in her car. He came in her everytime and she knew he had a pregnant gf and was having sex with her sister and other guys. She claimed after the night she called the cops on me she realized what she was doing and never talked to him again. She also claimed she had her sister warn him to lie to me. Crazy thing is my gf wanted me to stay. It's been 7 months now. But there's more. She maintains I know everything now She never throws what I did in my face although I constantly say things about the guy from 15 yrs ago because I'm repulsed by it. The first thing that sickens me is the girl he sent a dick pic to said his dick was small and one of the nastiest looking dicks she's ever seen. Petty I know, but I'm packing a porno dick and I am stating a fact and not intending to sound like a delusional douche. Also I heard my gf go off on women she believed were sluts more times than I can remember. The ones she attacked the most were women who'd have sex with a guy knowing he has a wife/gf. There are 2 things I truly believes this woman I've known for 20 years would NEVER do 1. Have sex with a guy knowing he has a woman 2. Have a hook up She just proved me wrong on both So I asked her on several occasions about the 25 yr old from the casino. She's given me a play by play several times. She did admit he didn't wear a condom and she gave him a bj. What stands out is she either asked him how he liked a bj or if he liked the bj and he told her to deep throat it and she tried. She also said he didn't finish because he was too drunk. The thing is her story has never changed and she's never been defensive when I asked. I truly believe she's proud of this. So when we started bonding she shared with me that her fav type of porn is hardcore anal. She claims to not know why this gets her going. We've never tried anal so I suggested it. Now I've done anal with about 20 women and that's why I have an issue with my gf's reaction. Not only did she take me in her ass without a problem, but she loved it. At no point did she tell me to go slow or act as if it hurt. She even said I have to get in past a certain point and it'd feel good. She swears up and down she's never done anal before. I'll skip details but I also found out who the 25 yr old my gf had sex with. I found out from a casino employee and my gf confirmed it's the guy. The issue is the casino employee says my gf was bragging to her about having sex with a completely different guy. And I was going back through some old messages and I realized the day my gf confessed to having sex with this young guy I had actually messaged the young guy who had the pregnant gf that my gf claims wanted to get with her. Plus knowing what She knows about me my gf just wants to go back to how things were. I'm at a loss here as I feel it's very obvious she's not just a hoe, she's a HUGE hoe And you can say we deserve each other, but I never wanted my life to end up this way
