Try putting this in your resume and see if you can get a job

I'm a quantum ecologist. I bio-engineer eco-synthetic matrices. I also moonlight as a social media platform entrepreneurial philanthropist, crowdsourcing outside the box, paradigm shifting ideas with my cross-platform cloud algorithm. I'm E-learning my i-Inovation and being a synergistic thought-leader providing an immesive E-experience!

Help me write jargon-filled non-resumes or non-abstracts!

Here are some informational E-resources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_buzzwords

 

do wot mate?

 

So you extract DMT and related compounds from natural sources, ok....

then you sell the resulting eco-synthetic compounds at raves and festivals....


cool..:2thumbsup:



or at least that's one possible way to interpret it

 

As an actual ecologist I am against you sullying our good name with your nonsense.

 

no offense to ecologists. I just like adding the prefixes "Eco", "bio" or "quantum" to things. C'mon help me make resume padding buzz-words.

 

no, what we're really trying to do is this:

Look, we're going to have to mind-share our next-generation event horizon through enabling customer centric co-opetition. And this is why I think the management visibility of the new economy is perfect for our sustainable new company: Prestige Worldwide.

 

sorry. I'm not easily baffled by bullshit.
You essentially said nothing.

 

that's the point.
This is meant to be satire. But I shouldn't have to tell you that.

c'mon help me come up with good jargon buzz-paragraphs . I just smoked a blunt and did it with my friend it's really fun.

Ohhhh shit, George Carlin does this or almost 5 minutes straight:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nNtRO3IrGg4

holy shit he's like a modernist rapper.