Trust Issues Or Jealousy

Is this a problem with trust issuses or jealousy,I asked my bf last week if I could just have guy friends he went off the handle,accusing me of cheating on him by saying what are you going to cheat on me now?and also asking me if some other guy was going to be coming over to my house and spending the night,If so please dump me now?I don't see what the problem is as long as there's just friends,I have always been faithful to my bf,and I would never cheat on him,why do you think this caused him to react like this?Please tell me your thoughts on this.

 

Boy Logic:

boy want girl.

girl want more boy?
girl doesn't want boy

Whats Happening:

Am I not enough for her?
Why does she have to ask me to make friends?
She must be trying to see her "options"
Why would she want more boy'friends?
What if she likes one of them more than she likes me?
I would lose a friend and girlfriend



Jealousy and Trust issues.


I got some friends I would never introduce to a girlfriend, they would try and fuck her. Which is bullshit I shouldn't have to hide her, but ya know what; im not gonna risk it. Because I have been told numerous time's from other boys that if you can steal someones girlfriend, she shouldn't be with him. Men think girls are a competition, and you girls love it.


Hope this helped.

 

Thanks,this has helped a lot.

 

as a guy, he knows that guys don't want to be friends with women; they're there because they want more.

that said, he handled it like an ass.

 

I think that jealousy is born out of trust issues in a case like this....
Does he trust you or not? Looks like not.....

 

He sounds pretty immature to me.

 

does he have cheating girlfriends in his past? You go with what you know.

 

Even if he does....that isn't the way to handle it. My ex-wife cheated on me with numerous people. When we finally divorced I told myself I wasn't going to hold the next woman accountable for the sins of the last one. That's a sure-fire way to ruin a relationship.

 

I don't think being jealous or having trust issues is a direct problem of the individual, this stuff arises even from childhood memories but I do believe the person in the relationship with the issues has a significant disadvantage.

It's wrong to think a female should not have male friends. Rediculous. I'm gay and my girlfriend does not whinge, cringe or nitpick who my friends are. To the person who'd not let their wife/gf see particular friends, man that's just shitty friends right there if they'd try and do that because although I know a lot of male friends either discuss or joke (right in front of us) who they'd have, they're good enough people to ya know, not be dicks. So with me basically a Tom boy and more male friends than female, theoretically it should be a problem with us but it's not because we are two switched on open individuals.

But if this isn't the case, I would really consider pushing the envelope. If it's not a problem to you then don't let it be and force the issue. If he blows up again guess what, he probably isn't for you at all. But you should not have to give up friendships because your boyfriend gets upset. Tell him to grow a pair of balls and man up and if not, you're walking away to find someone more compatible.

 

good for you but do you know what happens in your mind when the next one cheat on you and the one after that? Because of my job taking me away for months at a time it seemed impossible to find a women who could keep here pants on.
There is always a better way to handle things but we only know one side of the story.

 

This quote is for the OP...

I have girlfriends that I don't have sex with. That doesn't mean I don't want whats right for them and if making them breakup with their lame boyfriend is whats best for them, so be it. So even if your boy'friends dont wanna hit you, they still have a very well educated opinion on boy stuff cause you know; they are boys. So your man is just worried, wouldn't you be worried if he hanged out with women without you around? Dont you think it would be easy for him to say "I love you, Im faithful and devoted to you alone." Nobody actually says that, but I am sure you get the point.


Let us know how everything goes!

And most importantly, talk to him about this shit. We are just some strangers on the Internet, go make eye contact and show love

 

ok thanks,I will keep you all up dated and let you all know how it goes,and thank you all for your advice.I would make eye contact with him,but we have a long distance relationship,he lives 3 hrs away from me,but we talk and communicate all the time.

 

I'm going to guess that this is part of the reason he feels insecure about you hanging out with other guys. I'm not saying he's justified but it probably doesn't help that it's a long distance relationship.

 

Yes,that's very true,it probably doesn't help at all that it is a long distance relationship,we have knowen each other ever since high school,then he moved to a different part of florida a few years after we graduated.

 

yes he did handle it like an ass,I agree there.

 

I wouldnt put up with that at all. I told my husband when we met that I had a lot of male friends and I would always have a lot of male friends. If he had an issue with that then that was the time to leave because I wasnt going to give up my friends for a new relationship. I also refuse to be with someone who is jealous. Most of my friends are guys and he's fine with that. He knows he has absolutely NOTHING to worry about. I have never and would never cheat on him just because i hang out with guys. I do believe that guys and girls can be friends without either one of them wanting more. I have plenty of those friendships. Most of my guy friends consider me to be like a sister to them so any kind of sexual attraction would be gross. One of my girlfriends was being dramatic the other day and I had no patience for it. My husband actually said "This is why you're friends with mostly dudes". He gets it.

 

I understand that,he has a friend that's a girl,that's 19 and were both 32,so I don't see what the big problem is,as long as their just friends.

 

Also you shouldn't have to ask your boyfriend who you can be friends with. You're a grown adult. You can do what you want. If can't handle that he needs to kick rocks.

 

deep down, trust issues and jeousy usually reflect a lack of confidence. ofcourse this lack of confidence isnt really attractive so its going to reduce the number of girls that hang around you down to one, maybe two if your lucky. and if girls are uncommon for you, then obviously your going to be very possesive when you get one. am i describing your boyfriend right?

and its so easy to point out these obvious flaws in poeple, but what do you actually do about it? thats the hard part. you got a jelouuse boyfriend, thats the problem, but whats the solution? its a problem only he can solve, and it takes a long time to fix.

 

these are both very true.