Top 1000 things that you can do with an egg

900:

Figure out why it's not working.

 

941. Tell it to SHUT UP!

 

22435: bend the chicken over and shove that egg back where it came from!

 

666:

Fill it with trinitro taluine and throw it at someone!

 

^^ you suck bloated fetus at this, it's suppoed to be 1041,
and eggs don't talk, we need to raise them maliciously first!

777:
Carefully culture wolfsblood into it.

 

glue it to an igloo using snot

 

490:
Give it a number and tell it to get in line

420:
paint it green and smoke it

420:
leave it white and snort it

123:
sit there and stair at it

 

create a home for and call it the egg mahol

 

1040:

Pay its income tax

 

name it Emporer for Life and invade Gaul

 

377:
shoot heroine and drool all over it

 

compose romantic poetry with/about it

 

123:

Make handshadows for it.

 

sit on it until it hatches.

 

13:

paint it ti-dye until it rots

 

Introduce it to people in an elevator

 

take it to a funeral and place it in the corpse' mouth

 

take it on a trip to india

 

place in one of those tennis ball shooter machine thingies

 

1: Hit it with a bat.