Top 1000 things that you can do with an egg

Teach it to prevent forest fires

 

lick it for hours

 

Build it into a snowman to give him a more impressive package.

 

cuddle with it

 

make it vibrate. give it to a japanese chick.

 

Stick it in a jar of whiskey and fondle it when it passes out.

 

glue little feets to it

 

Crack it with the nutcracker your mom gave you for Christmas.

 

teach it to insult the poster above it.

 

Punish it for making a mistake on your taxes.

 

claim it as a dependent

 

Insure it for $100,000,000

 

Leave it in the rest room for the next person.

 

salt and pepper it

 

Roll it and see if it gathers moss.

 

Post a video of it on Youtube.

 

snort it

 

feed it to an aardvark

 

suck it through a 50 ft garden hose......

 

Make egg-nog.