hi all! so im 20 years old and i came out of a long term relationship about 3 months ago. i recently just met this guy and we INSTANTLY clicked from the first time we hung out. it is crazy how similar we are and how perfectly we get along for just meeting. so needless to say things have been moving FAST. we started dating 7 days after we met, but like i said..it feels so right with him. theres only one problem... the sexual tension is undeniable and its crazy. we have only bee dating for 4 days and we cant keep our hands off each other. id do want him.. and i know he wants me and hes totally fine with waiting as long as i want but its very hard to deny the attraction when you can even watch a movie without getting steamy. my question is... how soon is too soon? ive never had sex this early and that is why i question it. i know i should wait..... but im not sure ill be able to hold out much longer... please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I would say is ask yourself if you will regret it whatever the outcome? People (myself included) tend to ask a lot of questions in these forums but in the end only one persons answer matters, your own.
Do you know enough about him in 2 weeks? Sometimes it's enough, sometimes not! What is holding you back? Why do you not trust your self? Mmm strange!
I'm sure people have had sex with younger girls in shorter time spans and had better times... Or worse times... The quality of times isn't the issue here... We're looking for a direct correlation.... Better place all bets on yessireebob.
You can't really know someone in 2 weeks...I'd wait until I really knew the person. Sexual tension and waiting...makes the sex even better when you do it.
Here' the thing...sometimes waiting makes it awkward. You run out of things to talk about. Sometimes, I think it's better to break that barrier and deal with the consequences later. But, like secret_thinker said, just be sure that you are fine with dealing with any regrets. And you can get through anything. It's a matter of if you want to deal with the guilt/pain at the risk of great reward.
Phil (my husband) & I had sex on our second date! It just felt right, it's what we both wanted & needed, so being "grown ups" we went for it! It wouldn't have mattered if things hadn't worked out, at least we would be walking away from the relationship with satisfied smiles on our faces! As it happens, all this was back in 1982, we now have 2 grown up children, are just as much in love now as we were back then & most of all still enjoying great sex! If it's what you both want it isn't too soon!
**Disclaimer** this opinion comes from someone who believes the BEST place for sex is in marriage...I didn't do that when I was younger, and truly wish I had... So this advice comes from that angle. I am not someone who would advocate affairs, threesomes, casual sex, etc. I AM NOT JUDGING THOSE WHO DO THESE THINGS!!!! It's just not my cup of tea... That being said... I know my opinion doesn't mean a whole lot, but I have to disagree with this assessment. If you are thinking this could be long term... Having sex because you may run out of things to talk about is a horrible reason to have sex with someone. You'll never know what the relationship is truly built on. If you run out of things to talk about, is that someone you should even be in a relationship with? I am assuming you are not someone who engages routinely in casual sex or one night stands. If you were you wouldn't care about having sex this soon. I am assuming in the past you have wanted to be in a committed relationship before taking that step... What is your reason for thinking it's too soon? What's the reason for wanting to wait? I think deep down you know the answer to your own question. I wish you all the best!
New and Shy, no offense taken. I agree. Marriage is the best place for sex. For some people. But this is the FREE LOVE forum, so it's different. Either the question is in the wrong place, or the response is. Just coming off of a terrible divorce and rekindling an old flame, I'm not sure which is true. But the section that the post came in should have bearing on the responses.
If someone had regrets after sleeping with someone very quickly, I would say that's too soon for them. Everyone is different and people have different attitudes towards sex. I'm open minded no matter if someone has a different opinion than I do.
Didn't even realize the question came from the Free Love section! Sooo glad I added the disclaimer on where the opinion was coming from... Thanks for pointing that out.
Never has happened for me. If the relationship isn't going to work out, may as well get some sex out of it early on. Getting attached to somebody and finding out later they're no good in bed... damn depressing.
