Ok, now that I got your attention. I have a self confidence issued. I get tongue tied when I see a cutie (TS/TG/Guy) I just don't know how to start the conversation. After I say "HI" it goes down hill. I end up sounding like an idiot. I mean I'm not this way with others. I feel I miss opportunities to talk with some great folks and who knows a would have been partner. What are some ideas to get me out of this annoying habit. Thank you
You mean issues? As much as you may be attracted to someone when you first meet, it's best not have any expectations going into a conversation.
Can you be more specific about what you mean by "going downhill"? Do you say something inappropriate? Is there something you want to say but can't? In a perfect world, where you didn't get tongue-tied, what would you want to say to the person? What kind of subjects would you discuss?
Absolutely NOT I don't have expectations except for a conversation I mean the conversation falls apart and I loose control of it. Just normal day to day conversation that would lead up to going out sometime. I can talk with friends and family about anything. It's when I meet someone who I have some attraction to I just go blank. I know its nerves or just a mental block. Here I can talk with anyone because I can sit in a relax environment with no expectations.
You can't be "in control" of a conversation, because it involves two parties. A natural conversation evolves in whatever direction it goes. Pick a topic that will be of interest to the other person, and then see where they take it. Don't talk with a goal (i.e. dating) in mind. That is a recipe for failure. You say you can talk to friends about anything. So, when you find someone you would like to date, make them your friend. Your goal should not be dating, because, as you have discovered, that is doomed to failure. If your goal is friendship, the conversation will be natural, and dating might eventually be an outcome.
Hi, thank you. KathyL you always have great advice. Your right my goal should be friendship and I might have a better outcome. Thank you!
