to hit or not hit...

Discussion in 'Attachment Parenting' started by Mgmlovespeace, Mar 29, 2012.

  1. Copperlash

    Copperlash Guest

    I take offence with the wording of the title. To hit or not to hit implies that you aren't asking whether it's okay to discipline your child, but whether it's okay to be physically violent.

    As a child, I was a singleton until age 8, living with my single mother and grandmother. Then mum met my step-dad, my nan moved out and I suddenly had a step-sister the same age, a baby brother who was quickly followed by another brother and then a sister. My step-dad beat me heavily on a daily basis and often for no good reason. My mother was cowed by him and let him. He never touched his own daughter, but if she did anything wrong, it was seen by him as just another reason to beat me. Any time I was seen out of line, my mother was heavily co-erced into giving me a beating as well. By the time I was 12, my mother was heavily depressed and I was looking after my three siblings and the running of the house, along with school and still being beaten daily for the smallest thing (I'd missed a spot when cleaning; I'd burnt the potatoes, I'd neglected to buy milk when I was coming home).

    I decided my own children would not be disciplined in that way. My husband though, had other ideas and turned out to be quite violent. Like my step-dad, his idea of discipline was a beating for the sake of it and not content with being mentally and physically abusive with me, he would try it on with the kids. The day he left a hand print on one of the twins as a tot (it lasted a week) he was told to leave and although it took me ages to get him out, he never touched the kids in front of me again. I find depriving the kids of something they want worked well for me. Spanking has never been required and my kids, although a complete pain in the backside at times when little, trying it on and failing, are respectful and loving.
     
  2. tuesdaystar

    tuesdaystar Interneter

    I don't think it's really so black and white. I don't really plan on spanking my child, I might though, if it seems appropriate. I will slap the shit out of his hand if he's about to touch something that will hurt him. I think learning that pain connection is natural, just let your kid know if he reaches for the stove top his hand is gonna sting vs it's gonna get horribly burned.

    There's a lot that goes into a child's discipline. Mostly your child learns by example so the best way to have a cooperative kid is to be a level-headed, good communicator.
     
  3. No hitting anyone ever.


    (and being that that's what we teach our kid(s), why would we go and do the opposite?
     
  4. Logan 5

    Logan 5 Confessed gynephile

    I was spanked as a kid. Sometimes I deserved it, sometimes I didn't. I remember my momma's boyfriends would spank me, and that was the worst. One would beat on me over and over with his belt. I oughta slap the hell out of my momma for that.

    OTOH I have seen some kids do some really stupid shit, and the first thing that comes to mind is "damn, someone needs to put that punk in his place".
     
  5. morrow

    morrow Visitor

    We hit only for our own frustration!
    If your hit, does it do you good?
    Do you like it?
    Does it make you feel better..?

    Then think, how that little kid feels, leave them be!

    Explaine to them reasons, kids are clever than you think!

    If they fall, you comfort them, because they hurt..
    Then you make them sting, hurt, shout, and wont make it better...your at risk of having one fu ck d up kid!
     


  6. As much as I am totally for parents never hitting their kids (and have made that personal choice...well, it wasn't really even a CHOICE-I just wouldn't hit a kid ever.)--what is REALLY WRONG is someone hitting (spanking, whatever.) someone else's kid. Totally unacceptable.
     
  7. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    How can anyone even think about hitting a child.....or an animal....This boggles my mind....COMPLETELY! NO NEVER HIT!!!!
     
  8. shameless_heifer

    shameless_heifer Super Moderator Super Moderator

    Spanking that ass may save them prison time in the future. That is what is wrong with the kids today, the ones going out and being destructive. They never learned that there are consequences for their action.
     
  9. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

    Crossing a busy road after it was forbidden, prevent a young kid from touching the fire stove are good examples for a correcting slap. This is how pain and punishment works and has it's use. Hitting out of frustration is wrong and a different thing obviously.
     

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