threesomes...pretty or problematic?

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by browneydgrl, Jan 5, 2005.

  1. browneydgrl

    browneydgrl Member

    im a naturally curious girl, and for a while now ive been toying with the idea of a threesome. ive only ever kissed girls and i am comfortable doing so, but what im really wondering about is this: i have a boyfriend...would introducing another girl onto the scene for a nite be a fun thing or does it just cause problems like jealousy, distrust, etc. some people say that threesomes are best if your not really involved with either person. has anyone ever done this with their partner? was it worth it?
     
  2. Mountainphishie

    Mountainphishie Visitor

  3. Crystaleyez

    Crystaleyez Member

    I did it.They both kinda focused on me and didn't touch eachother much which was cool. He was like,"I've never felt you like this b4," when he er entered me. From the start he said he wanted an open relationship, but he dint really. Me and the girl started seeing eachother and he got jealous and broke up with me. He was the only one that ever broke it off with me. I don't think i'd do it again.
     
  4. peacefuljeffrey

    peacefuljeffrey Senior Member

    I've never done a threesome, but I have long understood the dangers of it that the previous two posters have made clear. I think that if you care about staying with your boyfriend, you won't open this horrific Pandora's Box. There is lots to lose, and very little to gain. Is there so much more you can do sexually with a third person there that you can't manage to get satisfaction from with just the two of you? Some fantasies are better left unlived.


    -Jeffrey
     
  5. peacefuljeffrey

    peacefuljeffrey Senior Member

    Unless the guy offered up the option of you also seeing the girl, and said he was fine with that, it doesn't sound right of you to have started seeing her, and then expect your boyfriend to just accept it. Did he sign on for you to start going out with the girl, or was it supposed to be understood that she was just added for the sex, to be a plaything for your relationship, and that you two were supposed to be the "couple"?

    Shit, if I were dating a girl and we found a friend who would have sex with us, I think I'd expect it to be understood that while I was my girlfriend's boyfriend, the other girl was not supposed to be my girlfriend's girlfriend.

    Sounds like you did your boyfriend a shitty, and he was right to break up with you. He got walked on.

    -Jeffrey
     
  6. In my experience it all depends on the situation. I have had both good and bad experiences. Oh it was all good during but its always afterward that things can get ugly. If you do decide to give it a TRI(pun intended) just do your best to make sure that all involved have an understanding of what everyone else expects. AND if something is making anyone uncomfortable then you must say so. Have fun but use good judgement.
     
  7. artful_dodger

    artful_dodger Member

    I've had a few. A couple times, a partner and I brought a third to bed. A few others, I went to bed with couples I was friends with. I've had two with people who were not otherwise romantically involved: one with two other girls (which was definitely the hottest threesome I've had) and one with two men (which was far less fun than anticipated).

    Definitely be on the watch for potential emotional weirdness. I don't experience a lot of sexual jealousy (I'm 6 years into an open relationship), but everyone's wired a little differently for that. I firmly believe that the degree of sexual exclusivity you require is a sexual preference, just as valid as gay/straight/bi/whatever.

    A final caveat that no one else has mentioned: this is not likely to be the hottest sex you've ever had unless you are very conscious about everyone getting equal attention, and if each person is able to enjoy sitting back and watching for a bit now and then. It's sex that can be awkward to choreograph, and sometimes more work than fun.

    I don't regret any of the threesomes I've had, and I'd be open to them in the future... but, it's not something I actively seek out.
     
  8. Crystaleyez

    Crystaleyez Member

    Jeffery, as I said we had an OPEN relationship. I didn't want an open relationship at the start, he did. So I went with it because I liked him. When I acted upon the "openess" of our relationship he got jealous and broke up with me. Maybe by 'open' he meant that he should be able to be with other people if he felt like doing so. I learned my lesson. I'm through with threesomes and I'm through with open relationships.
     
  9. WayfaringStranger

    WayfaringStranger Corporate Slave #34

    if my girl started bringin home other girls for us, i would be stupid to ever lose her. but if she saw another guy, i wouldnt be able to be with her anymore, or atleast a couple weeks after she stopped seein him. its wierd and could be a doublestandard, but not a true double standard cus there is different equipment involved. i really cant explain it. i think the bible says that a woman should wait ten days inbetween guys, for cleanliness and incase of pregnancy disputes.
     
  10. Girl on girl is so much fun. But I have found that if three people get together, and two of them are more than friends, it never works out. Someone always ends up feeling left out and getting jealous.

    But if you bring in a semi-stranger (and make sure they are cool and clean) and you and your mate have talked about it, then go ahead.
     
  11. mlg32

    mlg32 Member

    3somes are cool, as long as they are for fun only, it works best when there is no outside interaction except between the sheets!! FFM ones are cool, and MMF are very nice too...it does require very willing parters all around, everyone needs to be hott.It is best if each person wants to truley be there ,rather than doing it just for someone else to enjoy....
     
  12. the one threesome i've ever experienced was with a female friend of me and my fiance's. it was me, him, and her. he only went down on her and made out with her, though. me and her went down on each other and made out. i went down on him, but she didn't. it was very spontaneous and unplanned. it was actually last new year's eve and we were just hanging out. all of us were a bit fucked up, as well...it WAS new year's eve, after all...afterwards, we were like, "wow. that was interesting. well, we won't be doing THAT again!" i mean, it was fun for that particular moment, but it's not something we'd make a regular thing. this person is a friend of both of our's, and we wouldn't want any weirdness to come between our friendship with her. there really wasn't any awkwardness after that, and we're lucky for that i believe.

    i am bisexual and so is my fiance, and we're both curious about trying girl/girl or guy/guy fun, but the very SECOND it made either one of us uncomfortable, it would have to stop immediately. nothing can come between the two of us because our love is too special to ruin for sex with someone else. i agree with the people who have the philosophy of setting clear boundaries and limits and making sure all parties involved are comfortable with what's going on.
     

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