Threesome Regrets?

Have any of you had a threesome and regretted it after?

After my husband and I spoke (see other thread), he asked me to set up a MFM threesome for us. He wants to try his bi-side and see what that's like. He says he wants me to join in, if I'm comfortable.

My worry is that if I do join in, he will think differently about me. He will remember me moaning and think that I like the other guy better, or whatever. He claims it's not that way and that he regularly thinks about me with other men and he always finds it so hot he gets rock hard.

I think of things as well that get me completely aroused, but I know that in real life it would be different.

Please tell me your stories of threesome regrets, so I have a better understanding of what I may be in for.

Thanks

 

Is this the same spouse that is experiencing ED.

Something is starting to not add up.

 

Not sure it's ED as much as it's asking too much too often, at least that's what he claims. So far, it's been fine...maybe the thought of this is what he needs...there are times that I've had sex that I wasn't totally into it, but you can't see from looking at me...guys can't hide it.

 

Hey Heather...we share a birthday!

 

Shouldn't you be writing a fake term paper or something?

 

uh...

 

My wife and I were in a six-month MFM threesome (which I arranged). While it ended badly, I most emphatically do NOT regret it taking place and would do it again in a heartbeat.

I have a strong voyeuristic streak and primarily set up the threesome so that I could watch our best friend fuck my wife. It took a substantial amount of delicate diplomacy to convince both my wife and friend to participate (even thought they both admitted attraction to one another.) Once we got going, all three of us had a great time. This went on for months. Then, I started to feel a subtle but definite change. I've always had performance issues and have never been able to last anywhere nearly as long as I've wanted. My friend, OTOH, was younger than me, in better physical shape than me, could achieve and maintain a rock solid erection for as long as he wanted (it seemed), and could fuck forever! I started to feel that my wife wanted to fuck him more than me and I slowly started to feel marginalized. It all fell apart on the final day, when she expressed an urgent desire for him to fuck her and didn't mention including me at all. That night, once the activities started, I started feeling ignored quite quickly. (Bare in mind that this was NOT a deliberate act on the part of either my wife or friend. They were just so turned on by each other that the rest of the world dropped out of focus.) I blew up and the threesome fell apart.

That was over 30 years ago. Our friend has long since moved out of state and we've completely lost touch with him (although not on purpose.) Since then, my wife and I have talked about it numerous times. We both agree that if we could go back and "do it again", knowing then what we know now, that we could make it work and make it last for a whole lot longer (preferably, years.)

In any event, communication is the key. Make sure that you and your husband set ALL of your expectations in advance, plus and "ground rules" and/or limitations. (For example, for my wife and I, our one rule was that she wasn't allowed to fuck our friend unless I was there to watch.) Also, I strongly recommend that you make a habit of discussing "how it went" after each get-together. If your husband begins to have issues (like I did), that's the time to bring them out in the open and talk about ways to resolve them.

If your husband is bi, that may help mitigate any feelings of being left out, as the other guy will be (presumably) attending to both you and your spouse. (Clearly, that was not the case for me, and both my friend and I were straight and were totally focused on servicing my wife.)

However it turns out, good luck and I hope it works for you!

 

Why are you like this? I'm true, real and asking for needed info from a forum full of like minded people.
That's what this place is for, right? Those who cannot get what they need come here to talk about things.
Or am I wrong? If you'd be interested in seeing my OpEd when it's finished, should be done end of Nov since
it's due Dec 3 (it's a tue/thurs class), then I'd be more than happy to publish it here for all to read and maybe
learn from.
So far, about 25% of women surveyed watch porn. About 15% of those watch male only porn because they get
to see very fit men with giant cocks and no women they have to compare themselves to. The other 10% watch
a mix of lesbian porn and male/female porn. Those women tend to be very fit with bigger boobs and are usually
as good looking as the females they watch. About 25% don't use any porn or erotica, about 30% use written erotica
only and the rest use a mix of written and porn to get themselves off. About 10% of women use porn with their
partners....shall I go on?

If I'm somehow making you angry, please let me know why.

Do you have any threesome regrets that you'd like to share or did you only want to try and make me feel bad? Which you were successful at, BTW. Congratulations!!

Gini

 

buzzgunner, thank you.

That is exactly why I'm unsure about it. I know Tom has fantasies that he would like to live out, don't we all, but I tend to think that if it lives up to your expectations, will you want it again and again? If it doesn't, will you regret it forever? Maybe I can let him do this alone and see if it's something he needs.

The invite me if he thinks it can work for three. I gotta be honest, having two men service me would be amazing...

 

Going to suggest if you want real answers to questions about bringing others into your sex life that you go to The Swingers Board Forum! That is where you will find informative people that actually live the lifestyle and people there are not so hostile.

 

Thank you...

 

Just a different perspective... scientific. When a person is aroused, including sexually excited when thinking about something, the frontal cortex is somewhat subdued. The frontal cortex, among other things, is what gives you the ability to think critically. Indeed, when people have frontal lobe injuries one of the common side effects is increased sexual desires and disinhibitions.
So, it is accurate to say that you cannot fully objectively decide whether to do it or not to do so...if thinking about doing this is making you hot - know that your ability to think critically is substantially reduced.
And thus, why people often do have regrets sometimes in these situations and say to themselves "what was I thinking?"...now that their mind is no longer under the influence of sexual thoughts.


Just 2 cents to throw in the pot

 

Sorry guys, what stands the abbrev ED or OpED resp. for?

My 2 cents: An image seen is burn down into the memory especially when one doesn't like it. And if you think about

why not give it a try? and when you write

maybe that's the way it will turn out. The question for me is if you wanna take the risk? Both of you. Maybe you like the cock of the other guy better or the way he fucks you. What does it mean? Broken relationship? You fuck your man anymore?

Live is a risk - you want something granted in your live? Well, the only thing I can think of is death - all the rest is not really clear.

 

We had a few threesomes for my gf at the time, now my wife. For her she loved two men pleasuring her. The guy she did it with was experienced, and had been with lots of other couples. He made us feel very relaxed.

I had been in a few threesomes with other couples, and never gave the women the full pleasure of two men.

I think a good threesome depends on all the people involved. But no we never regretted it.

 

What do you mean, you never gave the woman full pleasure? Were you deliberately withholding some of your attention to make sure that the other guy (her bf/husband) seemed like the better lover?

 

3 girls always seem to make it work.

 

Regular members can quickly get jaded because we have so many fakes and trolls who pass through here. The internet is a crazy place.

I have a feeling you're not fake, even though nobody ever knows for sure about such things online. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

It's been my experience that in any threesome, the newest person to the group is always perceived as the most interesting. If somebody isn't prepared to deal with that and not take it personally, they need to stay out of it. In an MFM, you're naturally going to be much more interested in the other guy than your husband. He should expect that.

The only three-way I remember regretting was when there wasn't good communication ahead of time as to what everybody was comfortable with and what was off limits. Beginner's mistake.

 

I just didn't feel like we gave the woman the full pleasure of having 2 men at the same time. Usually one guy on opposite ends of the girl, fear of touching the other guy. Never been in contact with the other man, in our threesome, but accidenal contact could be expected.

 

We were in the lifestye for years but when we moved to a remote location, due to the distance, we gave up on trying to hook up with other couples so we concentrated on single guys for straight MFM threesomes. We had quite a few replies, and met with three of them. The first one was an asshole, so we never invited him back. The second one was very well endowed, but the wife didn't hit it off with him, so we didn't invite him back either. The third guy she liked so we decided to make him a regular.

The two of us guys would get her warmed up, then most of the time I would just sit back and enjoy the show joining in occasionally. After the last time he was here, the wife decided she didn't want to continue in the lifestyle. She didn't say, but I think she was having attachment issues with this guy. Usually lifestyle couples share all details and feelings openly, but she would never share her felelings. I'm OK with that and have never asked again. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.