Hey guys, I'm in a bit of a strange situation and need some advice please. I've been with my boyfriend fo 18 months and right from the start we talked about having an mmf threesome. So last month we started talking to a guy on the Internet and we're meeting up next week. We currently are in a 3 way email chain. Everything was great but I've noticed that recently my boyfriend keeps making digs that this other guy is "falling for me" and that I apparently have more in common with this guy than I do with him. The guy is flirty but I've made sure to make them both focus on the sex and what we'd like to do. It got to a point last night when the other guy said something his ex girlfriend used to do to him and my boyfriend got mad and said that we are not replacing her. I've made sure to always show him everything this guy has said to me. I've not flirted with this other guy or anything apart from getting involved when we all talk about sex. They've had a separate email chain without me included in it but I'm not that bothered about it. What I'm apprehensive about is that when we meet how it will play out. My boyfriend has said he wants to see me get fucked by this guy and me to suck his dick but I'm worried that when it actually happens he will not be ok with it. He said this is his main fantasy and so I'm hoping he'll have considered this too and it will be fine. I can't really talk about this with my friends haha so any advice would be great. Has anyone got an tips on making sure my boyfriend knows I only want him but also making sure the other guy has a good time?
Hi there. Just make sure that you are their centre of attention and go with the flow. Your boyfriend seems to know exactly what he wants to see you do but there's no reason that you can't satisfy him whilst you suck and fuck the other man; that's what MMF threesomes are about. If you're sucking the other man's cock, then let your boyfriend know you really need him to fuck you or eat your pussy. He can sit back and watch if that's what he really wants to do. If you're fucking the other guy, then do it in such a way that you can wank him off or suck him off. I think that the two men will be making all sorts of fantastic plans in the emails that you aren't seeing so just trust him, go with the flow and enjoy the sex; MMF threesomes are the best feeling ever! I would much rather my wife and I have another man join us than another woman (I wouldn't say no though!) Don't forget to report back here; preferably on the same night!
It sounds to me like you're walking into a mine field and you should stop right where you are. A lot of guys want to "have their cake and eat it too." This sounds exactly like your BF (IMHO). He wants to watch another guy fuck you, but will probably be immediately all up in your face if you do. As a guy, I speak from personal experience. Back in the second half of 1985, my wife and I (who'd only been married for six years) got into a threesome with our best (male) friend. It was my idea and I talked both of them into it over the course of a couple months. Once it started (in June), everything was great and I really enjoyed seeing the two of them fuck. However, by Christmas, I was starting to get jealous. I felt like she was paying more attention to him than me and wanted to have sex with him more than me. Everything blew up around New Years. We ended up breaking up with our friend and she and I were in therapy for about a year afterwards. Everything worked out in the end and our marriage is now stronger than ever. However, it was a near thing and could have easily ended in divorce. Bottom line is that you have to be totally comfortable that your boy friend will be able to deal with it successfully before you even think about moving forward. A single doubt on your part should be sufficient to be a deal breaker.
Thanks guys for your responses to each side. The other guy is bi and my boyfriend has been talking about the other guy sucking him off too so my boyfriend will probably be the centre of attention. I was hoping that will help things. The other guy actually is more interested in my boyfriend really as he is quite submissive and my boyfriend is more dominant. Haha I will report back. I've taken on board what you've said about making sure he is involved. I just don't know whether to now because of what's happened to not suggest things with the other guy and wait for my boyfriend to suggest stuff like sucking him off. That way it's his idea so I know he's comfortable with it
Ah sorry pressed send too quick. I meant to say wait til my boyfriend says to suck the other guys cock so I know he's comfortable and wants it to happen. But then I don't end up with a say in what goes down. What do you think?
I would suggest just keeping this a fantasy for your bf. I don't think he is the type who will handle this too well if it actually happens. When people are ok with it they will not make digs or comments but will be encouraging about it.
Your BF is obviously going back and forth emotionally. You need to have a serious talk with him immediately and ask him if he wants to proceed. Heart to heart. If he is hesitant then now is not the time and quite honestly it will most likely never be. Maybe a good fantasy but that is about it. If he decides yes, then what Running Man said. Let them pleasure you but as the center of attention try and keep both involved as much as possible. And if your BF wants to sit back and watch some make eye contact with him. Wink at him and smile at him. If you are getting fucked really good even say thank you to him. Just make sure you take pics and maybe short vids. That way if you never do it again you will always have them to help relive it. Above all you only live once so have fun!!!
has your boyfriend ever been with another guy? if not I am thinking he may be having seconds thoughts about what HE is supposed to do. you really need to sit down and have a nice long talk with him about it. if he is going to be jealous of you and the other guy, or regret something he may/may not do with the guy, then I can guarantee you this will end badly.
2an2makes5, You will have to be the one who makes sure your bf is the only one you want. If he is having issues now, you need to set down and talk this over. I have one question. I wonder who's idea it was to have a threesome? We had a few soft swings with a couple who we were very close to. It caused alot of tenson when things went a little too far one night. But later the same couple wanted us to go to a party with them. This is where we got our first taste of swinging. Nothing like I expected. Jan was then my gf. But she ended up hooking up with a single guy. which I later found out had been set up before hand. I didn't mind, it was a fantasy she had always wanted. In fact we had not planned to have sex, with anyone, only meet first then sex later. But I told her she may not get another chance, and better take it. I have to say I didn't know what to think when they disappearedd to a bedroom, and I didn't see her again for a couple of hours. Later we talked about it, and she told me she really liked it. (and yes this was the first man she had been with besides me) So I think that added to the thrill. So a couple of weeks later she tells me He wants to meet again. I wanted only to meet couples, but I let her talk me into joining them. A first I was uncomfortable, but this guy was experienced at being with couples in threesomes, and made me feel relaxed. He had alot more to offer her than the average guy. And I was a bit jealous watching him give her so much pleasure. But I was happy for her, and yes I liked it. Wasn't something we did much, but we did have several more threesomes. So it can hurt his ego, if you enjoy yourself too much. But he needs to be happy for you. Not all guys want to see their gf have sex with someone else.
No he's not been with another guy before. Maybe you're right and he's not sure what he wants to do. He is the one that first brought it up and he picked the other guy. I rang him today after work to talk about it like a lot of you suggested. About the other guy falling for me my boyfriend thinks it's one way and that he knows I've not got feelings for him. He said he was concerned that the other guy was asking personal questions and trying to be in our relationship and that's the only issue he has. He and the other guy have talked about it separately and that the other guy now "knows his place" which I'm sure went down great! I do really want to do this threesome. I feel a bit better that he isn't thinking that it's my fault but at the same time hes shouldn't think that a guy messaging us who hasn't met me has fallen in love with me. What do you guys think about me maybe letting them decide what to do for the first time so it doesn't look like I'm choosing favourites?
One thing no one should do anything they are not comfortable with them self. I never done anything with the other guy, although my girl wanted me to. She did things with other women, that was her choice. Like I said the other guy was very experienced, and he kind of coached us alone. We wasted no time getting undressed, then Jan was in the middle of us, getting lots of oral. Like I said she had been with the other guy before. And for me this took alot of the mystery out of things. I wondered how much she enjoyed it the first time, and she had told me she did. This was another thing, she had always said she wanted to try a bigger man. But I hadn't thought about, what if she liked it and wanted more. But I had no problem with that. As far as letting them decide, you should have as much say as anyone. It should be for you, and it sounds like new ground for youf bf. Another thing from a man's point of view, being with a new partner is always more exciting the first time. Like a new toy. You all need to relax and have a good time. Let what happens be fun. The main thing is remember it's just sex, No feelings involved. The extra guy needs to be reminded of that. Good luck.
That's good that he let the guy know where he stood, before you all had sex. I once had a woman, who wanted to be intimate with another woman and chose me as a result, not tell me she had a fiance beforehand. So here I am, thinking I'm about to become part of her life in a friend with benefits scenario, until her fiance, I guess, caught wind of the fact I was gay and they both told me to butt out and leave them alone. Real nice. When did it start being all about sex and trying to copy porn stars, and less about just free love? I've clearly grown up in the wrong era, lol!
It's good news then. You really want it and it is going to happen. Just do us a favor and keep us updated here. We will be curious to know how it goes and how much you like it. We are having "fun" this Saturday so we will be thinking about you. Lol
It sounds like your boyfriend has a good idea what he'd like to do during your threesome even if it's new ground for him. He's bound to be a bit nervous if he's never been with a man before. The other man may take the lead with him if he's showing more interest in him rather than you. It may be nice for you to sit back and watch the boys for a few minutes as you consider how best to join them but don't leave it too long! I think you should just go with the flow, enjoy the night but remember it's about your needs too. (Can't wait for the updates!)
To me, it sounds like the bf had a fantasy about you being with another man that was in some way not so appealing.
