For about two years my wife and myself were participating in a MFM on a regular basis. Sometime it would be three or four times per week. The guy we were sharing with was a friend that had divorced everything was good. My job takes me out of town occasionally and our friend might stop by while I was gone for some one on one time with my wife. I told her I was fine with that as long as I knew. To always enjoy and have a good time. We met a different guy one evening at a party and I could tell my wife was attracted to him and the idea popped up about a threesome with him. I said sure, I'm fine with that. The entire time it was like my wife couldn't fuck enough, sometimes we would fuck 3-4 times daily if it were just the two of us. I was loving this. She had talked a couple time with this new guy and she told me that he wouldn't be intrested in a threesome but he would love to fuck her one on one. I was like ok, maybe that will make him more relaxed and he would warm up to the idea of the threesome. I guess I thought that just any guy would be into a threesome. Sharing one lady between two guys is pretty hot and enjoyable, or at least in my opinion. I have to leave very early in the a.m. for my job. It was very common for us to fuck before I left in the morning. One particular morning I was really horny and my wife said she just didn't feel very good and wasn't in the mood. This wasn't no biggie, I had always respected that and off to work I went. Later that day I get a text saying her new friend had came by after I left and finger fucked her and she gave him a sample of her pussy to lick on. I know that I am into the threesome thing and that kinda hurt a bit for the fact that I wanted her bad before I left only to find out this guy had came in right behind me after I was gone. I told her that honesty is all I ask for, and that kinda hurt me. About a week later, a similar incident happened while I was gone again. It was kissing, finger fucking and pussy licking. We were still fucking like normal for the most part. But it was the blindsided that kinda hurt again. I would have been fine if she had told me that they had something planned when I was gone. I mean, we had been having MFM with this other friend for quite a while. Now to where it gets complicated and drama filled. My wife had this girlfriend that was recently divorced and her and my wife would go out to movies or to eat from time to time. My wife had told me that this woman thought I was cute and wanted to know what I was like in bed. From the very beginning my wife told me she she was not ok with sharing me with another woman. I was completely aware of that. But after the two unaware meeting by her and her new friend, I guess I lost track. Long story short, me and her friend hook up one night and wind up sleeping together. I felt horrible and told my wife. Now I am the biggest piece of crap ever to walk the face of the earth. I want to work this out but my wife told me that she can never trust or love me like she once did. Is anyone ever been involved in a situation like this? I hope it's not over and I would still be fine with MFM's if she wanted or just me and her only. Thx for any advice.
that deal doesnt sound very fair to me dude. sounds like shes a little possesive. like she wants her cake and eat it too. i think i can condense your story to 1 line: ok im your wife and i get to fuck other guys but you dont get to fuck other women because that will hurt my feelings, deal?
This doesn't sound like it is about having threesomes at all anymore! She is playing alone own her on without telling you her plans and seems to think it is okay for her and not you. This crossed the lines of what a threesome is a long time ago. There is no way I could live with a set of rules that would be okay for one, but not the other. I would end all play with others until you two can sit down and communaciate the rules of what is going to work for both of you and what is fair for both of you.
That's for sure. My wife and I were in a threesome with our best (male) friend in the mid-80s. It was great for about six months (I really loved watching him fuck her.) After that, I started to get jealous because it was pretty obvious (to me) that she was enjoying him more than me and wanted to fuck him more than me. It eventually broke up because I felt like I was being ignored. My wife and I are still happily married (over 30 years later), but our friend is long gone (someplace out of state, I think.) The real pisser is that the whole threesome thing was my idea in the first place!
Well, I can't say it was my idea to start. It was kinda a mutual agreement. It had been pillow talk until one day my wife told me she had been texting this guy about wanting to fuck her. She was pretty excited about the idea, so I thought let's do it. It went very well with this guy for well over a year. It wasn't till a different guy came into play that the drama started. I guess it's like playing with fire, sooner or later you will get burned. It's a shame, because it was a lot of fun with the first guy.
I did ask one girl I was with about threesomes. I fancied FMF, she fancied MFM, but neither fancied the others preference so we didn't follow through. I think you need to make it very clear to her that its not fair if she can't trust you for sleeping with the friend, but you didn't mind her fucking other guys. And that she had done things that broke your mutual code.
Well, a threesome is exactly that, three people in a sexual act. Just because you have MFMs doesn't mean she has to want, or agree to, a FFM. And she said she was NOT down with that. I really don't buy that someone forgets a deal like that. What has gone on is a betrayal of trust. When she said she didn't want to share with women, she made herself clear. You, however had said that one on one is fine as long as you are in the loop. That's what she did. She didn't go outside of your understanding. You did. This can be healed. It isn't easy. But if you want the relationship with her, the whole relationship, not just sex, then you both agree to go forward and not use this as fighting fodder. And maybe a discussion on why each of you wants the configuration you each like.
I think you crossed a line by going ahead with the friend even though your wife wasn't good with that, but I also think she really messed up by allowing a guy to come mess with her alone without discussing it with you ahead of time. I remember watching a show where a guy meets a woman at a hotel bar, and she calls her husband to tell him she wanted to fuck the guy. At least there, it's an open relationship but with checking in with each other before doing anything. I don't know what it is about women not being able to handle their man being with an outside woman, but him being ok with her being with an outside man. I think women might worry more about another woman stealing her man. She especially dissed you by turning you down that morning and then letting the guy in right behind you. Not cool. I think she over-reacted by saying she can never trust you again. You guys got into a sticky situation by letting the lines get blurred. I'd say go back to 3sums or nothing at all.
I communicate with my partner all the time with extra lovers or partners. There is no excuse to not open the communication up as far as I am concerned. Play behind people backs, drama unfolds.
In response to DieselGirls comment. I would love to go back to threesomes but I have come to the realization that will probably never happen. My wife is just so down on me for breaking her trust. I have took full responsibility for what I did. No excuses. It's hard for me to process how a woman goes from enjoying having two guys at her beck and call for almost two years to absolutely no interest whatsoever? She tells me now she wished she had never done anything with the other guy. It sux to goof a good thing up, but that's what it seems I have done. I should have thought of the repercussions.
First of all, and this is being said without any real knowledge of your relationship with your wife so take it with a grain of salt, I don't believe the issue here is the other guy, or the betrayal of trust per se, as much as the double-standard that got introduced into your relationship. From what you have written, your wife seems to enjoy having sex with other guys, which I think is perfectly normal and acceptable given that you are content with it. At the same time, she is also against sharing you with other women, yet she doesn't see it as a double standard because the former has now become the norm, while the latter has never happened. Your wife no longer sees the idea of being able to have sex with guys other than her husband as cheating, or even some type of privilege, but as something she can now do freely and when she desires without reflecting on it after the fact. Again, from what you have written, it appears that she did not think about how her telling you about her morning with her new friend might make you feel, especially after telling you to back off before you left for work. From my perspective, this makes it seem like your wife was fine with making the extra effort for some other guy, but you were not entitled to the same courtesy. Regardless of how clear the rules may have been, a move like that is never ok and is a form of cheating, and her being so open about it makes it seem like she doesnt see it like that. What makes it even worse, is that she did it again after you explained it to her that her doing it completely behind your back and you learning about it after the fact was not something you were ok with. Clearly your wife was the one who chose not to abide by the rules first. While some forum members here might say that her forgetting to tell you about her tryst before the fact is not as bad as you sleeping with another woman, because you happened to be ok with her having sex with this new guy before, they would be splitting hairs. The moment you told your wife that you wanted to be told about her new guy coming over before the fact, you drew your line in the sand when it come to cheating. You were only ok with her hooking up with someone else, if she could abide by that one rule, yet she chose to ignore it. Her not telling you about her new guy coming over made you feel terrible and you considered it a betrayal. You having sex with another woman made her feel terrible and she considered it a betrayal. However, you clearly thought that what you did was wrong and decided to tell her about it right away. Your wife on the other hand chose to repeat her mistake after you told her that it bothered you the first time she made it. I am not condoning your behavior, but your wife's idea of what cheating is appears very limited to the sexual aspect of a relationship, making it impossible for her to see your point of view or how she may have hurt you.
It's a little strange you would continuously share your girl with another man. Would you be more satisfied sharing her with another girl?
