Those Three Little Words...do They Change Things?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by drumminmama, May 9, 2015.

  1. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    Oh, those three little words. The declaration of love, for the first time.
    Said over a candle lit dinner, whispered in ears, tossed off at the end of a phone conversation.

    Once said, do they change things for you?
    If so, how?

    Who said it first? If you, was it impromptu? Planned? Did you blurt, or struggle with the words?

    I'd appreciate your age and relationship status, too.
     
    drumminmama, May 9, 2015
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  3. abarambling

    abarambling Banned

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    Doesn't change anything for me, because they say it so quickly. And that makes me wonder if they're just saying that because they think that's what I want to hear, so they can continue to gain benefits. I feel the same way when they ask me to be their boyfriends within hours of meeting. I know for a fact I'm not that special. To be honest, I doubt I am even at all special. So, lay off the manipulation. If I want to give you benefits I will. If I don't I won't. Saying those things won't change anything. Also, I think one or two have said the L word out of confusion. For example, I was clearly a rebound or someone to fill the void, but they used the L word.
     
    abarambling, May 9, 2015
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  5. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    I've written elsewhere that some people are in love with the idea of love and play fast and loose with the word.

    I wait until they say it first. Good advice, that was.
    My exhusband said it so casually, I almost didn't catch it.

    The most recent was someone whom I've been friends with for years upon years. It was a change in his life that urged him to express his feelings. It felt like he just needed to say it, not that he needed it echoed.

    eta my age and status: 46, in two relationships. (They are aware of the other, no secrets there)
     
    drumminmama, May 9, 2015
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  7. shygurl170

    shygurl170 Members

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    Interesting. I told my ex that I loved him...yet deep down I didn't. At first, yes, of course. However as the years went on...I knew that I didn't love him the way I should; and I would say the same for him as well.

    I will be so guarded with saying it in the future. It's hard, because I do tend to fall for someone quickly...but I want to know 100% that I love that person.

    I do think I'd freak out a little bit if a guy I was dating/seeing were to say that to me. I am not exactly sure how I would react, not there...yet.
     
    shygurl170, May 9, 2015
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    1 person likes this.
  9. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Sure, I say it when I feel it, which is not too often....lol....It does not mean...i am in love with you and will kill myself if you don't love me.....though.... :D
    When you lose as many people as I have in life......sometimes one learns to say what they feel when they feel it.....and never have any regrets about not saying something one feels if it gets too late.
     
    Moonglow181, May 10, 2015
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  11. Pieceofmyheart

    Pieceofmyheart Grumpy old bitch HipForums Supporter

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    I say it often...and mean it every time. I do not find it hard to tell someone how I feel and loving someone does not have to be a one time thing. Now...I don't say I love you so much I'll surely die without you.....or I must spend every waking hour with you.

    It simply means I care deeply for you, which to me....is love.

    I do not remember the first time...I'm old (56) and in a trusting, caring, relationship( not living together) with my best friend.
     
    Pieceofmyheart, May 11, 2015
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  13. Fairlight

    Fairlight Banned

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    I find it hard to say "I love you".I tend to show it through tenderness and caring.
     
    Fairlight, May 11, 2015
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