You see more reasons in the world for progressing Than you do for dissolving and retreating I can't say the same is true in my eyes I envy how confident you are in the good things I find them more exception than rule It's not to say I don't see them Just with a skiewed view of disbelief As they come further apart from finding The mind is always hiding in the dark The spirit raises limply to the challenge Still we march on Challenging self perception Is hard to do in a barren setting The subconscious is almost happier to remain stagnant Than work away to find greater purpose No matter how deep it burns Pessimistic persistance is an easy trip And how long will these gray days last? Is the cause self or circumstance? Where can tired souls go To get a rest from the wailing? It used to be while sleeping Now even dreams twist into gruesome tormentors Stalking out every last ounce of solace Chased by ape men with metal parts The answer must be so obvious it's invisible Smacking me up as it drifts down Do I hurridly brush it off While running for the bus Too busy nursing pity To give it half a chance It seems as though something's got to break Good or bad the air bleeds electricity Every night I close my eyes Try looking for visions of promise I know these efforts are futile But it's something to pass the time Whilst waiting for the revolution
isn't there a famous short story called by this name? PS too tired to read it right now, but it will be in my posts when I check for My Posts, so yeah, will read later
One can find the answer to all the above questions if but one of the above questions is answered: that answer being: self is circumstance. That being said, it is incumbent upon us all to discover just how it was that we came to exist, each in our own insulated environments; then to map out those environments thoroughly, so as to know how best to utilize the many pleasures they might offer to the enterprising core. I will admit that this Knowledge has come to me in the most grievous possible manner, which is: Failure for Lack of Trying. Nonetheless, this rather validates than repudiates my offering it to others, in the hopes that they will not be so ensnared. Besides, what other pleasure is there for the Dirty Dog in a Ditch than to clearly state to passers-by: "Do you really want to turn out like this? Giddy-up! And GO!"
the lack of flow bothered me, work on that, I would not call this a poem really, poems have flow you also seem to use a mix of simple and more complicated terms that doesn't really work out makes it seem (and this very well may be) that you are trying to sound more intellectual than you really are the way you describe things, I like very much
I had a really long poem-song i wrote about a week ago called Uncle Sam's Tobacco Farm Blues, but i dont have it with me, it took me 2 days to write
Funny you should say that duck,I thought it was a bit choppy when I mixed the complicated and the simple together,but no I'm not trying to sound intellectual,I just use whatever I think expresses my point in the clearest way,sometimes those words are the best tool I have.Osiris,I wish I had your insight on things,I'm sure once I get through this patch of repetitive negative thought it'll be alright,you've probably had similar experiences to get where you are now,and cheers Indian Summer,though it's not turned out quite how I wanted it to.
Geez...I identify with this so much it's scary. I'm even having the fucked up dreams... Anyways, I really liked this. Not only does it hit home for me, but it's well written with some pretty damn good imagery.
