This Too Will Pass

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by marquis_de_odde, May 28, 2006.

  1. You see more reasons in the world for progressing
    Than you do for dissolving and retreating
    I can't say the same is true in my eyes
    I envy how confident you are in the good things
    I find them more exception than rule
    It's not to say I don't see them
    Just with a skiewed view of disbelief
    As they come further apart from finding
    The mind is always hiding in the dark
    The spirit raises limply to the challenge
    Still we march on

    Challenging self perception
    Is hard to do in a barren setting
    The subconscious is almost happier to remain stagnant
    Than work away to find greater purpose
    No matter how deep it burns
    Pessimistic persistance is an easy trip

    And how long will these gray days last?
    Is the cause self or circumstance?
    Where can tired souls go
    To get a rest from the wailing?
    It used to be while sleeping
    Now even dreams twist into gruesome tormentors
    Stalking out every last ounce of solace
    Chased by ape men with metal parts

    The answer must be so obvious it's invisible
    Smacking me up as it drifts down
    Do I hurridly brush it off
    While running for the bus
    Too busy nursing pity
    To give it half a chance

    It seems as though something's got to break
    Good or bad the air bleeds electricity
    Every night I close my eyes
    Try looking for visions of promise
    I know these efforts are futile
    But it's something to pass the time
    Whilst waiting for the revolution
  2. indian~summer

    indian~summer yo ho & a bottle of yum

    i love it
    its so different than most of the stuff i've seen
    great work
  3. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

    isn't there a famous short story called by this name?
    PS too tired to read it right now, but it will be in my posts when I check for My Posts, so yeah, will read later
  4. osiris

    osiris Senior Member

    One can find the answer to all the above questions if but one of the above questions is answered: that answer being:

    self is circumstance.

    That being said, it is incumbent upon us all to discover just how it was that we came to exist, each in our own insulated environments; then to map out those environments thoroughly, so as to know how best to utilize the many pleasures they might offer to the enterprising core.

    I will admit that this Knowledge has come to me in the most grievous possible manner, which is: Failure for Lack of Trying. Nonetheless, this rather validates than repudiates my offering it to others, in the hopes that they will not be so ensnared.

    Besides, what other pleasure is there for the Dirty Dog in a Ditch than to clearly state to passers-by: "Do you really want to turn out like this? Giddy-up!

    And GO!"

  5. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

    the lack of flow bothered me, work on that, I would not call this a poem really, poems have flow

    you also seem to use a mix of simple and more complicated terms that doesn't really work out
    makes it seem (and this very well may be) that you are trying to sound more intellectual than you really are

    the way you describe things, I like very much
  6. eastla90022

    eastla90022 Member

    I had a really long poem-song i wrote about a week ago called Uncle Sam's Tobacco Farm Blues, but i dont have it with me, it took me 2 days to write
  7. Funny you should say that duck,I thought it was a bit choppy when I mixed the complicated and the simple together,but no I'm not trying to sound intellectual,I just use whatever I think expresses my point in the clearest way,sometimes those words are the best tool I have.Osiris,I wish I had your insight on things,I'm sure once I get through this patch of repetitive negative thought it'll be alright,you've probably had similar experiences to get where you are now,and cheers Indian Summer,though it's not turned out quite how I wanted it to.
  8. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

    Geez...I identify with this so much it's scary. I'm even having the fucked up dreams...

    Anyways, I really liked this. Not only does it hit home for me, but it's well written with some pretty damn good imagery.

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