this one winter night

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by stoneyJasmine, Jan 21, 2005.

  1. stoneyJasmine

    stoneyJasmine Member

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    The snow layered the ground in clouds that night
    as i walked trembling and numb to the core
    and i found myself clinging forcelessly to a gravestone
    eyes dry an locked on her front door
    and i could hear your distant laughter
    carried with the biting wind
    and i felt my demons flustering with sadness
    battleing not to give in
  2. kidder

    kidder Member

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    You know it's a tremendous opening line. You have admirable pace here and a real ear for flow. Just watch expressions that puzzle- 'clinging forcelessly' and 'flustering with sadness.' Write on!

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