All in sight is alive and glee No need for time or society Life makes sense in clarity Can I bring you to my fantasy? Picture this land of natural dreams Eternal sweet breeze, smoothe flowing sreams Tall grass flows like a dry endless ocean Blowing with the wind's gentle motion It splashes it's dust throughout the meadow We could watch the nature perform it's show There are people too, though they do not speak They like to cuddle, dance, and play hide'n'seak They have no language to express how they feel They just move with the land and know what is real There are many creatures that roam this land But my favorites are the ones that live in the sand I lie naked on the beach along the river If I were on Earth my body would shiver On one side is the sun, the other a night sky I could watch the clouds run, or the shooting stars fly See for yourself, I won't go on furthermore Oh please let me bring you where our minds can explore
^I hear that, nature is my main inspiration. Good poem, i like the images. Might work on the rhyming though, a few sound forced.
thanks. yea i dont really focus on rythm when i write unless im working on lyrics, because otherwise its too distracting, i like to get down exactly whats on my mind instead of fooling around with it..which can be tricky. that is cool that nature is your main inspiration too
not rhythm, I said rhymes. Some, like line 18, sound like they're there only to rhyme. That's the only beef I have with your poem, otherwise it's great. You write music too? I'm assuming so, since you said you write lyrics...i take it you have music along with them? If so, that's sweet, I've always respected that. I'm just a poet, not musically gifted...
ooh haha ic see, thats nice observing. well actually its one of my biggest pet peeves when people say things just to rhyme. i see why you would think that, and honestly that was the first reason i thought of the word shiver (if i am refering to the correct line) but then the rest of the line i used from past experience. my bands lyrics arent really examples of my writings, me and my friend have our own method of creating songs together. i am definatly into making music maybe You just have to find that right technique deep within you to play it eh
Yeah, you could be right. I've never really stuck with any attempt. I don't believe talent is inborn, but it's probably easier to aquire when you're young. I never had any musical instruction as a kid, first time ever was when I was 20 and tried guitar. I'm mainly content to just listen to music, but sometimes I wish I could make it.
