This isn't good

I have my computer in my room. I shut it down and got in bed. I tried to get in bed before the light went out and I almost made it. I was in bed and I kicked up my blanket so it would fold under my feet. Well... the light went out before I got my feet down and now I'm worried I may have ghosts in my butt.

 

I should have such problems!

 

If a Ghost penetrates you anally, is there still a chance of an STD? Should you insist on using a Spectral Condom?
Or is it true that all infections die when the body dies? Are Ghosts actually safer to have sex with than living beings?
Then there is the Old Horror tale that say that if you have sex with the dead, you will also die.

 

I'd get that looked at. Ghosts in your butt can lead to hemorrhoids.

 

DO you think so?
Even with plenty of fluids and a high fiber diet?
Using some extra, water soluble lubricants could help, don't you think?

 

They can all help, but ghosts are detrimental to your colon. One method of removing them is a temporary diet of five-alarm chili with beans, pickled eggs and cheap beer. Make it so unpleasant they move out! If that fails try an enema with holy water performed by an exorcist. There is hope!

 

I am an Ordained Minister, and I do love spicy foods. My sisters side of the family is Peruvian. On my side we have Hungarian Influences, and one of my uncles married into a Vietnamese family.
But by and Large, I enjoy the American Ta ligating Classics, of Chili Dogs, Chili Cheese Burgers, and Chili Cheese Fries. I don't drink, but Root Beer makes a passable substitute.

 

Sounds like you should be safe from butt ghosts!

 

Oh, and chili dogs and root beer?!

 

I also own a Damascus steel Gladius and several Folded Steel Japanese Nihonto. George R.R. Martin claimed that he based Valyrian steel on Damascus, so I am also safe from Wights and the Night King.

 

Yesterday I had garbanzos for breakfast (hummus), homemade lentil soup for lunch, and soybeans for dinner (spaghetti with tvp in tomato sauce).

Man, you shoulda heard (and smelled) the ghosts that escaped last night and this morning!

 

Ohhh!?

 

Just use salt

 

My late mother made some lentil soup and it was like eating gravel.
It was the only time in my life, that she picked her bowl up and mine, then flushed them down the toilet.

 

Well ya gotta cook Dem lentils first!

 

A bit like boiling the oatmeal for hours in the morning, rather than buying quick Quaker.

 

If you're gonna use lentils, might as well make dal.

 

Ghosts are unlikely. The whole phenomenon still is weird and unexplained though:

"Ghost images are rarely 'seen' by more than one individual at a time, even when others are present, and tend to be perceived in periods of emotional crisis. The image often includes some implausible physical factors; for example, the ghost wears clothing, rides a horse, or carries a heavy object despite its disembodied nature...."

APA Dictionary of Psychology, © 2007 by the American Psychological Association.

 

Also:

"alien abduction a claim by individuals that they have been kidnapped
by extraterrestrial beings. Although this phenomenon is commonly
associated with delusional thinking, POSTRTRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER,
and acute stress reactions, many of these individuals have no other
clear symptoms of mental disorder. Historically, there is no conclusive
evidence to support the validity of their claims..."

APA Dictionary of Psychology, © 2007 by the American Psychological Association.

That seems more like it could be a waking dream though. I doubt if there is a UFO government conspiracy too. At least not in my life. As I've been telling people for 20 years now, the MIB have never visited me. In fact everyone seems fully onboard with everything I am doing. I am not saying it proves anything. Just that it is all very strange.

Also I said on another board, curses seem random. But sometimes they seem to help. Our HS history teacher was telling us. The Republican party boss wanted to keep Teddy Roosevelt quiet. So he figured the vice presidency was a political graveyard. The VP only has two powers. He is president of the Senate. And he assumes the presidency if anything happens to the president. He kind of forgot that second one didn't he LOL? But Roosevelt was a great reformer. And thanks to the Curse of Tippecanoe, we got him. We needed Abraham Lincoln to win the Civil War. But after it he took a too much of a conciliatory attitude with the South. So his assassination at that point probably benefited African Americans. From a utilitarian perspective, there were more white southerners. But maybe African Americans just needed it more. I don't know why JFK was assassinated. I tell people he led to the reform of the 60's. But they say probably not. But he was the last one of the "curse" IAE.