This is boring... Joke Time

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Duck, Jan 11, 2005.

  1. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

    No Limits
    A priest is in the confesiion booth and he really needs to crap. He comes out, "Hey sir, could you please take over for me?"
    "Me? I( am just a janitor I can't give confessions"
    "They can't see through the screen, just look up the sin in the book that's in there and tell them how to repent."
    He goes in. Soon after one person comes in. "Forgive me father for I have sinned"
    "Well what is your sin?"
    "I stole my dad's watch" The janitor looks up 'theft'. "Say ten 'Hail Mary's and an 'Our Father'"
    Next person, "Forgive me father for I have sinned"
    "What have you done?"
    "I got drunk and tagged a mailbox." The janitor looks up 'vandalism'. "Say twenty 'Hail Mary's and an 'Our Father'"
    A third person comes in, "Forgive me father for I have sinned"
    "What are you here to confess?"
    "I cheated on my husband by sucking his best friend off" The janitor can't find anything about 'oral' so he sticks his head out the booth. Luckily, an altar boy is walking by. "Hey Johnny, what does the father usaully give for blowjobs?"
    "50 cents and a candy bar"
  2. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

    Damnit! Some one reply!
  3. BlackGuardXIII

    BlackGuardXIII fera festiva

    You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper

    is a white guy,

    the best golfer is a black guy, and the tallest guy in

    the NBA is Chinese.

    The Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing

    the US of arrogance,

    Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most

    powerful men in America

    are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.

    Need I say more?"

    --- Chris Rock
  4. Lodog

    Lodog ¿

  5. lace_and_feet

    lace_and_feet Super Member

    I could go for a S'mores candy bar right about now.
  6. BlackGuardXIII

    BlackGuardXIII fera festiva

    Vanilla Pudding

    Once inside the bank, just after midnight, their efforts at disabling the alarm system got underway immediately.
    The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables,
    were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.
    The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, but inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.
    As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat."
    The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding.
    The process continued until all of the safes had been opened.
    They did not find even one pound sterling, not a single diamond, nor an ounce of gold.
    Instead, every one of the safes contained little, covered bowls of pudding.
    Disappointed, they made a quiet exit, leaving with nothing more than queasy, uncomfortably full stomachs.

    The newspaper headline read:



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