Thinking of a possible first time(Trigger Warning)

Hello Everyone,

I'm new here to your forum so please bear with me. As ridiculous and maybe laughable as this question sounds to you, I've wanted to ask it for a long time but haven't had the courage to do so until now so here it goes.

I'm a 30 year old woman and I've never had any sexual encounter with either sex/gender. There was a time for a few months in my past where I was molested by my biological father when was 11 which I believe has greatly added to my fear of sexual intimacy with anyone. I'm also been terrified by the thought of sexual intimacy without having any feelings for a person first. I had crushes on guys but they were never reciprocated back especially with one dude who I think constantly but he's a gay man.
I've started to have sexual feelings towards woman at around 17. I can't say I've ever had a crush on one yet. I've masturbated many times to women but they have only involved imagining kissing on the mouth, fondling/sucking of breasts and fondling of the butt. But... I can never get into the thought of giving her cunnilingus nor receiving cunnilingus from her, nor mentally get into scissoring no matter how much I've tried to masturbate to it. I just can't seem to get into the vagina sexually.
I thought of having my first encounter or going out with a woman but my fear of her and I going down on each other is preventing my from doing so. I think can go as far as giving vaginal simulation though the hand/fingers/dildo but that's it.

So my question is.... is there anyone who's a had an encounter or is in a sweet relationship where there isn't any cunnilingus performed on each other nor scissoring?

Thank you all for your time and listening to my story and question.

 

First of all, while tribbing is awesome, "scissoring" in the traditional sense, isn't real.

But that's not the issue here. I'm sorry, but it seems pretty obvious to me that you're just not turned on by girls sexually. Either that or you have issues due to the molestation--and, oh my God, who wouldn't? Really sorry that happened to you. And your father no less. Someone you should feel comfortable trusting

So that could be a factor, but based on what you're saying---despite liking kissing and groping--i don't think you're all that excited and stimulated by the female body. And that's okay.

It's easy to say this on the outside looking in, but if I was in your shoes, I'd seek out some kind of sexual therapist.

Once you figure out what you do like, you'll be just fine. I wish you nothing but the best

Seems like you came here to have one specific question answered, but don't be afraid to stick around and become a regular member

 

I think you should go on a couple dates and take it very slow. A date with a woman is probably ideal because it would be easier to open up to her what has happened to you. You need someone that is going to understand and be sincere and gentle. Things should flow naturally once you're comfortable with someone,and no rush.

 

@Noserider, @RainyDayHype Thank you both for your kind, informative and supportive responses to my post. I truly appreciate it .

 

You only live once!!! Working on assumptions really wouldn't help, try these things out and see how you react to them. If it doesn't work then move on to other things. Like someone rightly said, go on a date and take it slow from there.

#sour mood, my country lost to Argentina in the world cups so....

 

Bummer vina

You need to post more

 

I

lol. Thanks.

I would post more, I promise.