Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? What is the speed of darkness? Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics? If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it? If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?
Since I'm bored as hell, I'll offer some ideas: Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are weak? because we are too fucking lazy to change the batteries and we hope that by some strange miracle, a little bit of energy remains, just enough for one more channel change Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? because they are greedy, and care about profits, not customers Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? because people really are retards Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? magic Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? to prevent the spread of infection, even though hes dead, he could still possibly infect someone else, (ie. coroner, undertaker, etc...) Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? because a monkey pulled it off and wiped its ass with it Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? because hes more of a pussy than you think Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? because it makes them look really sexy Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? some faggots What is the speed of darkness? same as the speed of light, duh Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics? does it matter? the retards wouldnt know how to read special signs anyhow If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it? in ceramic jars If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? ya got me on that one If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? because we havent killed them all yet If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? there here to help us, but it doesnt really work that way, because again, people are retards Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? i'm going to die really early with the wife I've got If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation? Ha, cute, but no
