women and men that come from abusive homes can go so that they learn how to avoid abuse relationships. I mean I see women, mostly, that live in an abusive houshold and they don't know how to leave. They are getting beaten up, sometimes raped, verbally abused and worse but they stay out of some warped since of devotion of fear. People get mad at them because they don't leave and can't seem to find guys, and women, that aren't abusive. I think there should be classes that teach these people how to find good people and how to avoid the abusers. They have classes for sex addicts and anger but when you mentioned being abuse no one seems to want to offer serious solutions. It's easy to critize or say you that the person can make it on their own. Who wants to live alone? You don't want to be beaten or abused but you don't have the skills to find the right person. I'd like to see someone caring and understanding run the class. They have classes on getting over shyness than they can make one on finding non abusive people.
I'm surprised there isn't such a place...... Seeing women stay with abusers must be something that can only be understood by someone who's gone through it, I never comprehend it when i hear a story like that.
________________ I'm only guessing but I think that they feel that if they leave that either the person they are with will hurt them worse or the next person they meet might will kill them.
____________ Well, that's why I said they she have someone caring and understanding. It probally looks different to an outsider. I can almost get it myself. Here you are a woman(I picked woman because I am one) and you live in a family that was abusive in some way. You run away and shack up with some guy because you'd do anything to get away from your situation. (anything) He hits you from time to time, calls you some bad names, and pumps you full of babies. You can't leave because you don't know how to take care of yourself and no one really wants to get involved. You shouldn't stay because the man that you once loved will either kill you or your children or both. People don't see the problem because they have family that love them or they learned the proper coping skills, you didn't. You ran from one place because you were scared, you are leaving another because you are scared, and probaly want to find another because you are scared. You've had abusive people around you your whole life but at least they were around you. Now, people expect you to take care of yourself, your kids and know how to find a stable partner. Some people even feel that you should just try being by yourself. You don't know how to do either one and there is no one there to help you. I think there needs to be someone there to help you.
Oh, I totally agree, thats kind of what I meant by not understanding it unless you've been through it....i suppose many end up like a timid dog who's been beaten too much, afraid of the shadows. Seems like the law doesn't do a very good job protecting these women.
In Saskatoon, a place of 250thousand, in Saskatchewn theres a place called Interval house. Its a big house where women can go, with or without their children, for free to escape spousal abuse. They offer counselling and free food clothing and a place to stay that is safe until these women can get back on their feet again. I've been staying in Fairview Alberta which is like a pretty small place. Waaaaaay smaller than Saskatoon and I went shopping at a womens shelter the other day. they had a store in the baesment where you could get a bag of clothes for five dollars. They had free condoms in the bathroom and, again, offered a place to stay with counseling for women escaping domestic violence. My point is, I think they do have places like this.
good thread, bell. ive been there. people in general are unsympathetic and dont understand how hard it is.
We have a place in our little town like that. It's a WINGS shelter for women and their children escaping abusive homes. I'm not sure if that's what you were talking about exactly, but I thought it was a great idea. Sad, of course, that it is necessary. The thing that drove me nuts was that so many people here put up a big fuss and tried to stop it. Peace
I am guessing it's an emotional attachment too. Think how hard it would be for you to leave the one you're with right now-why do you think it's any harder for any other woman, no matter what her circumstances are?
In my personal experience it's not having the resources the and the emotional attachment. i was never afraid id be killed altho i know it can happen.
I would love to be part of the staff at such a place if it existed. We worry so much about physical education and health class, but we need to start taking into consideration our mental health. I believe that psychology programs need to be intergraded into high schools. We need something more effective than afterschool specials.
They should teach a mandatory high school class on the subject. By the time these women and men are in these abusive relationships, it's usually too late and the damage is done.
I've thought about it and I want it to be taught while young but I think if there is a way to teach it to women that have escaped abuse than they can probally help in some way and go about putting their lives on the right path.
