There are still holes where the flowers grow.

I'm dysthymic, I've been this way since I can remember. Usually it's nothing I can't handle, but lately because of stress and outside factors I've found myself in a deep depression. I don't ever remembering it being this bad, or maybe I just made myself forget about the last time I got this low.
But I'm getting help. I talk to a mental health specialist, and though I refuse to take meds for it I am taking St.Johns Wort. My mom seems to be having a hard time dealing with it all and my dad hasn't a clue(he doesn't "believe" in depression). And even though I love my mom to pieces, and we've always been very close I find myself drifting away from her. Even though she is dysthymic herself, I feel like she just can't relate to the complexity of the problems I'm dealing with. She keeps trying to make me happy, to get me outta this depression with band-aid fixes.
For instance, my graduation(prom) is in two weeks. And I don't have a dress. I'm the only girl in the freaking county to not have a dress yet, and apparently (Oh my god! You don't have your dress yet?? What are you going to do?!)this is a pretty hefty deal. Well, my mom has made it her mission to find me a dress. It's like she thinks that if she finds a dress for me, that I won't be sad anymore. As if my problems are merely superficial. And I hate it. I can't relate to her anymore, she has a hard enough time managing her own life I don't see how she expects me to let her in on my own. I feel bad, because I can feel us each going our own way, but she keeps PUSHING to get into my head, to get me to be OPEN with her. But the more she pushes, the more upset and closed in I become. And because of this, I've lost someone that I used to confide in, someone that will listen. Because she isn't listening anymore, and I'm not talking.

 

Perhaps you should tell your mom that her persistance is just making it worse and that'll you'll talk to her when you're ready. Obviously I don't know the entirity of the problem, but it sounds to me like your moms attempt to find you a dress may not be her trying to "cure all" but perhaps her way of simply trying to give you one less thing to worry about? I'm really sorry to see that you're going through a rough time, and I want you to know that any time you need somebody, non-objective, to talk to you can pm me or e-mail me(adam@cadyman.com).

 

jess, how ya expect her to listen if yer not talking?
it sounds like shes tryin to help, but yer not giving her a chance

its obvious that yer dress problem is gettin to ya, among other things, n yer mum is just tryin to help ya with it.

give her a chance, she means the best.

 

aw, poor mom...