The trials and tribulations of being a single male nudist

Having been a single male nudist for almost 20 years now in the USA, I can say it's not easy. Having been to nudist resorts and nude beaches, me experiences have been both good and bad. And mostly bad. Being a long time member of AANR has helped some. But it just can get in the door to nudist resorts. But not really to any local land groups. The one time I thought I had a chance to get into a local group, it turned out to be a swingers group. The only other group I could have gotten into was a gay mens group.

I have made some local male friends, which were all gay men. Very nice guys and big advocates on the life style. we have had several gatherings over the years. But it would be nice to friends groups with both sexes.

The times I have gone to nudist resorts, a few times I was treated well by others there, both couples and families. Which was great being excepted. But for the most times I felt like a leper. No one would talk with me, but say hi after I had said hi to them. Not sure for the differences, I try and do every thing by the nudist code.

I understand why people fear single men, there are those out there that are really not nudists but predators. Which makes it harder for us that are really true nudists but happen to be single and male. I really have no idea what can make it better for the single male nudist, but it is very frustrating. Finding a woman nudist friend or partner is not as easy as you might think, been trying for 20 years. Maybe it's my location, Texas.

 

I have the same troubles as you do. I've been to a well known nudist resort, one of the few where single males are allowed, 4 times now over the last 9 years or so and I have to pay an extra $100 a day FINE for being a single male. Over a week long stay that's very expensive over a higher rate that I pay from the start because I'm a single male.

I've belonged to a nudist club over in a neighboring state now for 7 years. Again I'm kind of lucky that they accept single males as members because not a lot of clubs do. In all of those years I haven't spoken 10 words to anyone else there. It's like there's a force field around me that the others know to avoid me because I'm weird since I'm not there with a female. Look at our weekly news letter, filled with tons of events and contests all with one caveat, "Couples and single females welcome". I'm not allowed at the club at all on Saturdays. From where I live it's a 7 hour round trip to our club and back. It's a shame that I go to all of that effort to live a lifestyle that I love only to be an outcast.

And your frustration at finding a female to share the lifestyle isn't limited to Texas. I'm in Alabama and there's just no hope at trying to find a like minded female partner here either. I'm 54 now and it's too late for anything to happen on finding a female partner anyway much less one that loves being nude like I do. I've just got to struggle on for the remaining years of my life and make the best of my disadvantage.

 

Personally that descrimination. Its not someones fault if their single some want to be and others arent lucky yet is all

 

The question or is it issue of the single male nudist will never go away. I think. Some clubs feel that they would lose existing members if they did not have restrictions on the number of single people they grant membership to (which in practice means single men). Others who want to have times with a 50/50 balance of women and men are in a way discriminating against same-sex couples. Unfortunately the behaviour of some single men, intentional or not, puts off others, and instead of people challenging or complaining, often the response is to restrict single men.

 

I've been arrested twice for being naked on beaches. The law here is bizarre - it's not illegal to be naked per se but it's illegal to offend. A law based on something as subjective as offense is completely absurd. I could walk naked through a shopping mall and if no one takes offense I haven't committed a crime but being naked on a beach - even one where nudity is common - and seen by one person who complains and bang I have a criminal record.

 

I think the law on nudity is wrong, and it should be based on places, rather than who complains (or not).

 

My 4 teen daughters, sister, and I are in a nudist friends group here in Miami Beach that meets at Haulover Beach, in homes, and on boats. We have families, and singles of both sexes, as well as all races and ethnicities.I grew up in Texas so I understand your problem, but here it is so much better. people are more open, inclusive, and progressive.

 

It is the 21st century and still have nudist discrimination.

 

We singles are often seen as a threat by people in relationships. Are they afraid we will make an advance toward their partner or vice versa? At a non nudist campout I actually had one jerk loudly announce
" Lock up your wives, here comes a single guy". He seemed to think he was being funny. I would like to get involved in a nudist group but the local one has disappeared presumably because of Covid

 

I hear ya. Where I live, the three nudist clubs have condensed into one, and that one group will not allow a lone male to attend the campsite nor organized events alone, period. Doesn't matter if you are married, kids, single, or even a long-standing member of the organization of the group. You cannot attend without your spouse or kids, period.

I totally get why, but coming from an extended family where the women were the gross ones doing gross things, it bugs me, too, when people assume that men are more likely to be trouble.

It stinks. My wife said she would go but has changed her mind. She strongly encourages me to go but she doesn't understand that I can't. My kids wanted to go, but then Covid hit and that all went south, so now they aren't as interested even once Covid restrictions are lifted. So, just when I think I can "come out" as a nudist after 40-some years, I am feel like I am my 13yo secret self again in my room naked. Dang it.

I talk about planning a vacation around Haulover in Florida, but we have been near there for vacation already, and understandably we have no additional reason to go back as it's quite expensive of a trip for us. Maybe some day. Hopefully before I am 90, though.

P.S. The funny thing is that my wife was part of an outdoors club in grad school, and she did group nudist things all the time! So unlikely of her, but she did it.

 

Back in late 2020, the owner of our club went on a bit of a rant in our newsletter about single guy members. Apparently one guy had been refused admission at the gate and tried to drive his truck through the gate and ended up getting his truck stuck in the barrier that raises up and down. Our club owner stated that 95% of the problems at our club come from single male members, which I'm sure is a massive exaggeration. I mean if he were honest about it I'm sure he would say 95% of the problems at our club come from drunk male AND female couple members at all of those parties the club sponsors during the week and on weekends.

Nevertheless, he issued a new policy saying that with 2021 renewals, single males will now pay the same club rates that couples do. I now have to pay the same yearly rate as a couple would because he's pissed at one bad single male member basically. It's a massive increase in my rate and I'm not sure I can afford it past this year because he's only going to make it go higher and higher. I've been a member at this club for 9 years now. It's a 7 hour round trip for me to get there from here where I live. I think I've done more than my fair share to support the club. I'm already banned on Saturday's so that leaves me just a few hours on Sunday afternoons before I have to make the 3 1/2 trip back home. I keep to myself when I'm around the pool area. I would love to get out there and play sand volleyball with the others but I'm naturally shy and don't really go out of my way to talk to people and get to know them. I speak when spoken to though and I'm very friendly but in the 9 years I've been at the club I've barely ever spoken to anybody and no one will speak to me.

There is a much smaller club in Tennessee that's only about a 90 minute drive away from me. I've never been there. From their website it says they're only open from April to October. Looking at the pictures it seems their overall land area is about like my current club but they only have one pool and it's TINY. They say they only have 40 chairs around the pool area where we have 4 total pools and probably 150 or more chairs so there's generally always room even when the area is kind of crowded. But I hope this smaller club in TN opens back up this April as I would like to visit and see if I like it. If our owner doesn't want me there then I certainly don't want to be where I'm not wanted. I will gladly not make that 7 hour trip anymore.

 

In my 30 plus years of being a nudist, I have never actually visited a resort or club as such. But I have read and understand much about the problems single male nudists face when wanting to socialise with other nudists at clubs or events and resorts.....Isnt this a catch 22 situation? If single males are excluded from nude facilities, surely the chances of them finding a like minded partner or friends to visit said places with are rendered almost impossible.....compounding the issue!?!

 

If a nudist club decided to discriminate against people because of their religion or their race or their sexuality, they would quite rightly get into serious trouble.

I don't know how clubs can get away continuing to discriminate against people just because they are male and not part of a couple.

Perhaps it's time someone took theses clubs living in the 19th century to court?

 

You’re right! Its simple discrimination....tarring all single male nudists with the pervert brush!!

 

I feel for you single guys. I was the single guy at nudist resorts for many years. It's tough to find resorts that actually allow single men in - but even at that, a lot of people still tend to shy away from you regardless of your behavior. Took me a while but I eventually met my wife, who wasn't a nudist at first, but rapidly embraced the nude lifestyle after a couple of resort and beach trips. Keep the faith, my brothers!

 

Surely single men should be welcome on the basis that everyone should be treated as equal. I suspect clubs see them as a “cash cow” to charge higher rates of entry. So a couple who enjoy nudity is healthy and a single man who enjoys nudity is a predator? That’s the sort of medieval thinking that branded gay teachers a threat to children.

Like all other club members they should obey the club rules and if they don’t then be treated like any club member, male or female, and penalised but not for being male and single.

 

Just to add, my wife and I toyed with the idea of joining a naturist club many years ago and visited a couple of them as visitors interested in joining. We found the attitudes quite stuffy and committee members showing around seemed more interested in telling us the rules rather than the benefits.

we didn’t join and found naturist beaches more relaxed.

 

6 months ago the owner of our club said that single males were responsible for 95% of the problems at our club and that was his reasoning for making our rates the same or higher as coupes rates. But the newsletters since then sure don't show that to be the case. Not a week goes by that he's not reporting that he had to throw out a couple for some incident they caused at a party or get together. So I would say that couples and alcohol are the main causes of the problems at our club and not the single males.

 

There seems with a lot of activities no real answer to the existing members wanting to preserve things how they are. This can put off new members, such as the single male naturist, and probably has contributed to clubs seeming to be places where the average age of members increases each year, and the closure at some point when the members cannot visit or have died comes about.