The Thread of LIES!!!

I'm gonna drive down to the local head shop for a new bong.....

 

there is no classier establishment than a rub and tug parlour

 

I really love going to the dentist

 

I flew once on accident the wind caught my coat as far as 3 football fields,
I can drink out of my eye socket, and one time I found a really old bottle
from the 1700s and it was worth 20,000$ cause it belonged to a famous captain

 

I invented the internet

 

One time my mom was riding a tandem bike with some guy in Vancouver
and they fell into the harber off a 40 foot ledge, broke their legs but
it was okay after a few months

 

I can fly....by just flapping my eyelids

 

I was once known as the living spider-man
due to the fact that I scaled every building
above 50 stories in Chicago and Baltimore

 

I work for the C.I.A.

 

I hate laughing.

 

I love cats

 

I like sniffing pollen.

 

I am all caught up with my tax returns

 

I hate hate

 

I love country music

 

I love when the wife cooks Spam.. MMMMM its so good.

 

As usual I got in another fist fight today......... :boxing_smiley:

 

I hate when my wife comes home and goes "HUNNNN I BOUGHT SPAM FOR US TO EAT AGINA WHILE WE WATCH MA MOVIEEEEEEEE" FUCK

 

I think I am gonna get a haircut, shave, join a cult church and maybe even become a priest.....

 

I swam across the Ohio River....