The Thread of LIES!!!

I steal something every time I go to walmart, I just can't seem to stop myself...

 

there is a knock on effect if I miss my deadline

 

im not nervous about having to perform tomorrow

 

I can only count to ten...

 

I will sing you all a lullaby every time you go to sleep

 

I'm very flexible and have no problem doing yoga.

 

I have horns growing out from behind my ears

 

I pulled my eyeballs out and put them in the freezer.....;-)

 

I'm eating boiled African kneecap soup

 

I just drank a bottle of clorox bleach...;-)

 

I like to snack on cigarette butts.

 

I'm completely normal and deflect giant asteroids that threaten the earth.

 

I just hitched up the dog sled, gonna drag into town....;-)

 

mystery has surrounded my death for years

 

Yeah, I've been dead for like 5 years. I don't know how I'm still able to post here.

 

I had snozcumbers for dinner

 

I import rare salamanders for the rich and famous.

 

I was a rabbit in a previous life.

 

i just saw my head rolling down the hill and i'm not sure who i am now

 

I couldn't get in the bathroom this morning, so I shit on the windowsill