The Thread of LIES!!!

I'm thinking of buying a houseboat and living on the Ohio river...

 

i have a serious mental problem which results in my retardation

 

my childhood imaginary friend is back, its good to see him after all these years !!!

 

I love my parents.

 

I just gained 45 pounds by eating a shark whole and some oatmeal cookies....;-)

 

I believe you had space left in your stomach for oatmeal cookies after eating that shark.

 

Me and my girl before my big diving gig

 

I just threw up that damn shark.....;-)

 

I've decided to start wearing dresses.

 

I'm getting rabies for Christmas

 

I'm gonna cut down all the trees on my farm cause I can't see the forest for them!..;-)

 

I sent your presents out in the mail everybody

 

I got my present yesterday, thank you Earth it was just what I wanted...

 

I just ate some yellow snow....;-)

 

I like yellow snow cones...

 

I'm gonna shave my haid and be a skin headed redneck now....;-)

 

I'm buying everyone here a new car!!!! Just let me know what you want.

 

i don't want a car thanks... (bentley please)

 

I'm gay, fat and good looking....;-)

 

i lost my virginity today... if i could find my glasses, i'd know where i put it...