The Thread of LIES!!!

I have a new perfume, Essence of pilchards

 

I fly first class.. *smug*

 

I just ate half a cow, ten yams, and a tin of beens, and a picnic bar, BEEEEEEEEERRRRPPPP!

 

I just ate half a turkey, ten yams, a can of green beans, at my thanksgiving dinner... DUUUUUUUUWAP!

 

Yam is so appealing.

 

I'm going to pull my teeth out one by one and sell them on the open market

 

Balgis is the latest member of my Harem....;-)

 

I just got my period

 

I just cut my toe nails and deep fried them for dinner.......next I'll try hair.

 

my 3nd nipple is being removed today.

 

i need a fork-lift-truck to get into bed at night

 

I need a fog horn to wake me up in the morning!

 

I love getting out of bed in the morning..

 

Sat Nav is always exactly correct

 

i didn't eat a white toblerone intended for my partner... honest guv... it weren't me... i would never do such a thing

 

this programme was aired for children on british tv in the 70s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZbNR5dgUlk

 

^ no wonder your a nut case!

 

you do know this is a thread of lies?

 

ok, your not a nut case then

 

I just ate a case of nuts.