The Thread of LIES!!!

I am the chicken plucker, you were only plucking chickens untill I came, so shooooo

 

just finished baking my last batch of scones , ready for the queens visit tomorrow...

 

I have a shotgun pointed at your head, now tell the truth or you get it!

 

i like shotguns... i don't like knives at all, however...

 

Im so looking forward to driving for about 2 hours to pick up someone who is not a nuisance at all !

 

20 minutes before work my favorite time of day

 

my cartilage piercing is healing really quickly... think i'll have another one tomorrow...

 

I killed and plucked the turkey I'm bakin' for Thanksgiving...

 

I really hate the Mr Bean episode where he ends up wearing the turkey on his head...It never makes me laugh

 

I love meeting people at the airport and waiting around for a delayed plane, there is realy nothing like it! نكح

 

i've always fancied the duke of edinburgh... what a nice man!

 

I love these great hollywood gossip tv shows...soooooooooo interesting

 

hemorrhoids are the best thing to cheer you up on a crappy day

 

I just ate a bowl of vomit for din din....

 

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS MY SHIT.. TO GET TO MY OTHER ASS!!!

ThATS MY JOKE ITS FUNNY YOU LAUGH NOW!!!

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

 

yes...that was very funny ROFFLEFOFFLE

 

I'm going to fast tomorrow. Not gonna eat a thing.

 

it wasnt me who took my dads new car for spin last night and backed it into a huge dustbin, it realy wasnt me

 

it's so easy to clear up after my dog with all these leaves around... makes spotting his shit a cinch

 

I am turning completely sane right now because i know exactly where my keys are.