The Thread of LIES!!!

I'm really a soccer mom.

 

I went for a bike ride today...a pedal bike

 

Yeah I took out the old "velo" today too my friend

 

I have never had a speeding ticket ever!!!!

 

I got hit by a car and won a million dollar law suit!!!

 

I have a sweet girl sitting next to me and she has her head on my shoulder

 

I'm making out with a beautiful woman and ttttttryingg to typeee this a the same timmme....a;nsld;vn;

 

I didn't wash my new cell phone tonight ..and it didnt go through a whole dryer cycle either

 

I put the gerbil in the freezer last night so he wouldn't get cold.....

 

i set a rotten pumpkin under my friends bed so that his room would wreak of wrotten pumpking.

 

I feed my husband our cat for dinner last night...

 

I love being single

 

I enjoy having a straight-edge roommate.

 

I have a pet mouse that lives under my bed....

 

I love when my fingers get so cold I can't feel them and then sting as they warm up.

 

Obama and friends are doing a great job!

 

Jimi Hendrix sucks.

 

I just love it when billions upon billions of lady bugs invade my house at this time every year....

 

I hate my new opportunities and the direction my life is taking.

 

i love it when hot ashes fly into my right eye and blur my vision for 3 days