The temptation to fuck around...

I want to know if that's really it though.

are the shortcomings of his current relationship only apparent now that he's met this new girl?

 

That would be interesting to know.

 

Lodog, if you aren't familiar with N.R.E. (New Relationship Energy), you might want to do some reading on that just to be sure you know what is and what isn't in regard to your feelings.

 

As someone who recently left a long-time relationship with 2 kids involved...I think you really need to look at your relationship, separately from this situation with the new girl.

Despite the feeling that you "don't click" is there a good personal reason to work on that...would it be possible to fix that?

Sometimes these situations come up and inspire people to improve on what they already have...sometimes they come up and encourage ending the thing that hasn't been working for awhile. If you've given it many tries and nothing has changed, this may be where you're at...if you haven't tried to improve things, you probably should.

What I can say is that my daughters, myself and my ex are all doing better now that we have separated. He may not believe that...but he now has no one to blame money issues on, no one to worry about besides himself on a day-to-day basis, no one to scream at and throw things at and he can focus on himself and see what is really important to him.

My daughters are better because they don't have to deal with that...I'm better because my stress levels are more balanced and I'm a better mom because I can really focus on my daughters and not on tip-toeing. This doesn't mean your relationship has to be that bad to leave...but you should leave because of your relationship and not because of someone new.

It is also possible you may still be able to live together or be together while allowing romantic interests or separate lives. I have known some people who seem to have a good system living together more as friends/co-parents.

 

and again...

 

I wouldnt say to stay with her because its best for your son


but i would say try your best to make it work for his sake

and if you do leave...at least youll know you tried everything else first

 

I'll be honest here.

"We don't click" sounds pretty vague. You already know that it's a poor excuse to cheat on someone.

Especially someone you are committed to and have started a family with. Young families go through stages where the two partners "don't click", there is a lack of physical attraction, lots of stress, whatever. But it can get better. Or it can get worse.

I suggest you give your partner a chance and the opportunity to rekindle and workout whatever isn't clicking. And try not to look at it as like, "look at the awesome girl I am missing out on!" because I think some would say that about your woman too, etc. Plus, when you are married and/or committed you just shouldn't view things on how much you are missing out on, ya know?

 

Seems like it is a lot easier to click with someone while frolicking at the waterfall than to actually live in the day to day life of going to work, paying bills and doing laundry etc. Maybe you should get a baby sitter and take your partner to the waterfall. Maybe she could use a break from all the day to day too.

 

nicely said..i cant be this polite

it is his penis that is the problem...he should have used a condom and now he wants his girl and his child to pay the price for his unwrapped dick and poor poor self control

 

out of all the terrible feelings i have experienced in my life

aside from loss of loved ones

i'd say the feeling of being cheated on was the worst.

just my experience.

 

yup...i am the first to say break up after the other person fucks around...it happened to me twice that i know of...you are correct,sir...it hurts

 

Long term relationships are not fireworks every minute. This may be a "grass is greener" moment for you.

Your son will learn how to treat women from you. And he will hate you if you cheat on his mother.

If you are truly unhappy, leave first.

 

And let me be the first to say LODOG HAS A KID? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

 

dammit...and I thought I was gunna be the one to leave my husband for Lodog

Oh well, on to the next forumer...

 

Yeah, you should talk to your g/f. If you don't love her in that way anymore then don't torture yourself. Children sense when their parents aren't happy. I know because I went through this for years with my mom and step-father. You can still be a good father and raise your son properly w/o putting both of yourselves through this. Hope everything turns out ok for you:grouphug:

 

Lol :2thumbsup:

 

Go for it !! I know, that's immoral. Yet, my motto these days is to live life to the fullest.

ETA: I stay in my marriage specifically FOR my kids, and I am proud of that sacrifice I make on their behalf. Our home is basically harmonious because despite "not clicking" we are mature and we know how to conduct ourselves and have manners. My husband is not a bad man, he's a crappy husband. I can see that. My kids are flourishing, even though they are perfectly aware of the marriage status. What is important is that we don't split their home, or cause unneeded tensions, because of our own adult selfishness.

 

The thing to remember about offering advice is that it must not be jaded nor judgmental. If it is either one of those then it becomes a story about your life and your sufferings and fails to do what it should, which is to help the person who asked to see things above and beyond the dramatic emotions they are already experiencing.

 

Mega FAIL...



Cheers Glen.