The Stress of feeling like both will reject me

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by ScaredOfUnknowm, Mar 18, 2023.

  1. ScaredOfUnknowm

    ScaredOfUnknowm Newbie

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    I'm a 34 M currently dating a F but i bVe mever told anyone that I am Bi. Not curious, hike I've only slept with two guys, both experienced were easily in my top 5 greatest sexual experiences. My arousal I get from females is pretty standard of most heterosexual males. But with. Males, there's gorgeous men of any physicality turn me on and do so higher than any woman. Some for MtF and FtM.
    Ive only dated women but I enjoy listening and spendng time with guys more.
    My -GF has seen..me with both gay and trans porn once and her energy wS not right so Iied.

    I wasnt to be with someone I internally long for ND want to not waste any more of her time.
    I'm scared though that neither side will accept me as I continually hear and see my bisexual men being treated less than other groups
     
    ScaredOfUnknowm, Mar 18, 2023
    #1
  3. thepapasmurph

    thepapasmurph Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    The stress is not worth it, my friend. In my life, it has been better to be as open as possible and let the chips fall where they may - I've lost some friends, my marriage has fallen apart, but I do not regret it. I am glad I was finally able to be more open about my sexual orientation. Like you described, my sexual experiences with women were fairly typical - standard, enjoyable and good - but my attraction to men and the pleasure I get from being with a man is greater than that of a woman. It is a tough place to be - that scale of sexual and emotional attractions almost is worse than being 100% gay or straight. Some guys who claim to be only nominally bisexual - enjoy sex with another guy - but it is purely physical, are in a better place with it than I am. I love the sex, but I also look for the emotional bond, whether stronger love relationship or friendships.
    I think bisexual men are misunderstood but I also think it is getting better. People are beginning to hear us, or they care less about it. Now, there are so many specialty sexual orientations that it almost doesn't matter.
    The most important thing, I think, is to be true to yourself and not hide who you are. You don't have to broadcast it on social media, but to those that matter most in your life, I think transparency is better than carrying the stresses and worries of rejection over it.
     
    thepapasmurph, Mar 23, 2023
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    robbyrobby and Suburbanray like this.
  5. Piobaire

    Piobaire Village Idiot

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    Don't be scared that others won't accept you; be very afraid of not accepting yourself.
    Your time and energy would be much better spent growing and developing into your highest, most authentic self. Instead of looking for the lover you always wanted, transparently and without artiface be the lover. I think that you might then be pleasantly surprised at the people who are attracted to your light.
     
    Piobaire, Mar 26, 2023
    #3
    6Sailor9 and thepapasmurph like this.
  7. TwinT

    TwinT Members

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    Gay researchers are eager to show that the sexual reactions of bisexual men to female and male stimuli usually aren’t identical. So you are good example for that.

    Do what you like best. You also decide how you label yourself. If you prefer the male-male route, don’t be afraid of calling yourself ‘gay’ if you are afraid of using ‘bisexual’.
     
    TwinT, Oct 30, 2023
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    thepapasmurph likes this.

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