The Secret To A Contented Life

Lower your expectations. If you are still discontented, lower them some more.

 

After following this treads advice, I've started up that crystal meth I've heard so much about.

I've been up for 8 days with no side effects. Lowered expectations for all!

 

Haven't tried it - maybe I'm missing a trick? Personally I find when the shit hits the fan valium hits the spot very well.

 

Sounds too boring. An adventures lifestyle is more appealing.

 

Yeah I dunno how lowering your expectations leads to any sorts of contentedness. That'd just shit me up the wall really.

If you wanna live a content life do what you want to do without fear or repercussions of the thoughts of others around you. Now you're living for you, now you're living in general.

 

Haha, well, idk. I kind of agree with the OP. Sure, I've had more good times than bad with some things and people, but lately, I have been really disappointed with others, and falling from the highs sucks big time! Now,...well, now I expect nothing and that is what I get. I am content because I can now go saying everything sucks! I don't think I'm ..well, I was going to say jaded yet, but I think I am!...but I suppose, not about everything. Just most of everything! Lol

 

Exactly!

 

avoiding expectations but keeping eyes open for the wonders of the strangeness reality is.
(not "lowering" expectations, but AVOIDING them. statistics, and diversity, are real things)
understanding that statistics don't mean will or won't, but more often and less often only.

there's also a matter of knowing what you personally find gratifying and uplifting,
as opposed to what people, more often then not mistakenly, expect each other to.

imagination and consideration are your friend too.
denying either only creates the misery of frustration.

there's a difference too, a very big important 'key' difference,
between what you personally find familiar in nature/reality,
and what people tell you to expect to be.

don't expect everyone in one of your interests,
to share all or even most of your others,
instead enjoy each of your interests for the sake of your interest in it,
regardless of what you believe to be the priorities or perspectives of other people who share it,
and especially take with a very large grain of salt the perceptions of the majority of people who aren't participants in it.

in short don't be ashamed or afraid to not be mundane.
yes there will always be someone to harrass you for ANYthing.
if anything, take that as all the more reason to be proud of your differences,
(unless they're based on something really dumb, like hating logic or consideration)

oh yah, and one among the endless list of other things:
its not the little green pieces of paper that are unhappy.

 

never lower your expectations. just allow yourself to select expectations that are realistic

 

i like to think of each day as a new start..kind of like groundhog day...even if they are the exact same ...try to make it a better run



im in no way content though so ignore that

 

Yes, realism is very important. At various points in my life I have aspired to be a rock star, a famous academic, a cricketer, a racing driver etc. More recently I've hoped to have a meaningful relationship with my brother and sister (looking very unlikely), and I'm going on a family holiday to Italy which I'm actually really dreading now. So for me, being realistic is actually about lowering my expectations.

 

Also kind of about lowering expectations is learning to accept something that really bugs you. I don't know if I've really lowered my expectations as such, as I never expected much, but I've learned to accept. Maybe that's the same thing.

 

fair enough

in my mind, to use your examples, i would see being a rock star as a high expectation and something pretty unlikely
though to have a good relationship with someone is perfectly likely. we have the potential to form relationships everyday
so a good relationship with your family is perfectly plausible
you're expectations should be higher
whether others live up to them is not your problem.

i hope the holiday is nice either way, i love italy

 

Not your problem you say? Well, ok, but the thing is, you feel disappointment when people fail to meet your expectations, right? I mean, how can you not feel? Actually, that is my legit question. How can you not feel disappointment? Because some folks really turn a 180 sometimes and it is like, hell if I ever want to trust them AGAIN! (Expectations lowered). HA! It's funny! I used to say, give them another chance, and another, and another...well my gut is telling me (yeah, stomach aches over some recent shit) that enough is enough!
Maybe I just need space, but shit MAN!

 

we are talking about setting expectations and not the emotions surrounding them

two different conversations.

but since you've mentioned it, i do feel disappointed when people do not live up to my expectations. but i wont lower my standards

you my friend may be simply too forgiving

 

Haha. Idk. Maybe, but sometimes I think I am too quick to write people off. Just because I don't understand them. Idk I really honestly don't! I have never been in the current situation I am in now. I have lowered my expectations of certain few, but not folks in general. And most either meet my expectations or have good reason for not. And we are cool.

Yeah, surely two different things, but I was going off the OPer, and felt some company in it, in my mood yesterday. Ha! Thanks for humoring me though!



*actually, no, I put my foot down yesterday. And I feel better and at the same time, it may not have even given the effect I intended. Idk. But so yeah, maybe I didn't lower expectations. Ok. Again, thanks. Hehe

 

well i hope everything is alright. sounds like a complicated situation :/

 

Hmm...you're on the right track here, but I would tweak your idea a bit. Becasue the way it reads now, it could make somebody sort of lose enjoyment on life. And give up hope of attaining a great and truly happy life. If they just are forced to keep lowering expectations. Since what that really implies is that they failed in the first place of attaining their original goals.

So...........no.

MY advice would be.................

"Be contented and appreciative of what you have.

And always remember that, no matter how bad you think things are going in your life, there is always somebody in this world---more likely, thousands and thousands of souls--who would give anything to have your life."

How do ya like that? Better, huh?

Thanks.

Cheers.

 

Haha yes, very. I really don't know. It's likely I have just got way too much negative crap in my head right now to cloud anything, so taking a break. Ah yes, that is why I returned. So I put my foot down, but I am hiding out now. Afraid to face the music. Not sure if I am really hiding from anything. Maybe nobody even tried contacting me. Don't know if imagining that nobody cares to do that is worse than actually looking and finding out if it is true. Kinda thinking I can at least ignore my negative thoughts if I don't actually see it. And maybe I or they just need time. Yeah, so put my foot down and cowering. Idk oh, yeah, thinking maybe you were right. That I do, how did you say it? Can't remember, but am too forgiving. (Was that it) I think forgiveness is fine, but putting up with shit isn't. Think I was putting up with shit, maybe. Anyway...well, I can breathe. Think a break is good. Sorry for rambling.

Sorry to OPer for taking over this thread today. Or thanks for letting me??

 

I like it! (Ran out of likes, so another reason for the chitchat, was it Saphiresomething or soul compromise or...yeah those two members I confuse. Haha ok, just pretending like I actually know this Hip community. Lol