The Really Bad Joke Thread

What's the best way to commit suicide?

Type 'Chuck Norris' into google and hit 'I'm feeling lucky'

 

What is the hardest part about sky diving?


























The ground.

 

A pimp and Baker were having a discussion about ladies. The pimp said that he likes his in the evening and the Baker said, "Well I like mine in the morning. The pimp said, "Well I like my hookers but they don't do much for me. I want a lady that is kind and knows how to cook.” The Baker replied, “ You’d need a lot of dough, flour, and a little sugar but I’m sure my wife would be willing to give you a sweet roll."

 

How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?






































None. They screw in a dirty sleeping bag...

 

what's the difference between michael jackson and mcdonald's?

not much, both come with a little plastic toy.

 

Q: What's the difference between going to sleep and going to bed?
A: A marriage license

 

hahahaha, what's the difference between a lawyer and a hooker?

nothing. they both take your money and THEN screw you.

 

What do you call a woman with one leg?


Eileen

 

what do you call an indian woman who loves sex?

princess wantumhumpem

 

lol

 

This dude walks up to a car salesmen and picks out a car.The man says he is going to paint a big S on top of the car.The salesmen asks why the dude says "when iam speeding down the street I want people to say look at that S CAR GO!"


thats so reatarted

 

Hahaha, I like this one.

But then, I am a retard as well.

 

Guy walks into a bar and says "ouch". <----the classic worst joke ever

 

Q: What is the difference between pouring whiskey and self-gratification?
A: Two fingers

 

What do you call a cow with 3 legs? ....Lean Beef
What do you call a cow with no legs? ......Ground Beef

 

A fly landed on a mud puddle and it dried up
A fly landed on a pee puddle and it dried up
A fly landed in a lady's lap and her husband replied: Too bad I beat you too it

 

what do you call a foreigner that spends all his time with one hand down his pants and the other on a mouse??

Bird_Migration

 

What did the deadhead say when he ran out of drugs??

This music sucks.

 

Q: How much gas can you buy for a dollar?
A: That depends; how many onion slices are on the taco

 

Wrong, I am not a foreigner.