The options were cheat, bi or toys

Agreed.

 

That’s where I am at!

 

Sorry to hear that. I hope its refreshing for you.

 

Yep, this is kinda where we're at...losing interest in sex with her since there's too many limits and "no's".

 

After a period of months, where my wife gave different excuses why she didn't wanna, she told me that she didn't like the way I handled her, I was too rough, didn't like stubble burn on her thighs, etc., and went on to say she doesn't trust the pill, or condoms. We've not had sex since that night, and it's been at least 7 years. I don't hold her hand, I don't hug her, I don't touch her. I try not to brush against her in our kitchen area, or anywhere for that matter.

 

I don't punish mine for no sex, but I give her what she said she wants. She says she doesn't like to be touched, and has illustrated that point to me, so I don't.

 

Pard71 I get that and somewhat have the same experience. My wife has said many times she would be happy if she never had to have sex again and doesn’t like the way it makes her feel after. But she on a rare occasion likes touching. Usually when the “talk” comes up she says it’s my fault because I don’t initiate. I mean who wants to initiate with someone who you can tell hates what they’re doing?? It’s been about 3 years now and I definitely believe she has fully embraced “no sex but I still give her all the good stuff” and she’s happy.

 

"She's happy", but how do you feel about it?

 

oh about as happy as you are lol. Sometimes I don’t indulge her and give her the things she wants because I am a little bitter about it at times.

 

This is all so sad and ridiculous. I think most guys are pretty low maintenance. Feed me and fuck me as I joke. I think it is selfish on the wife’s part to do nothing. If you can’t have intercourse because of menopause ok. But you have hands and a mouth. It’s a choice. You know how your husband feels about it, but it doesn’t matter! That’s what sets me off. I wish you guys all the best.

 

There's no feeling on earth to compare to that of knowing a man has a hot, urgent desire to fuck you (I'm married bisexual, total bottom when I'm with a man), and giving yourself up to it & to him totally and without reservation -- the hot, ragged breathing; the deep, invasive kissing that drives him wild for you; that moment when he simply must mount you and take you; the wonder of his hard desire first touching you there, then pushing, probing, stretching you then suddenly snapping thru and up into you; the feeling of fullness and togetherness as he moves inside you, clinging to him and whimpering words of endearment to him as he begins to gasp & grunt & empty himself out deep into you ... and lying there with him on top of you, breathing hard, still inside you, and hoping he'll want to do it to you again (and again and again ...!)
I love playing the passive, receptive female role, yet letting him know I can't wait to be in bed with him: I can't remember one who wasn't willing to take me to a motel ..!!!

 

That's the same situation I'm in. My wife's interest in sex was tied solely to the possibility of her getting pregnant. Now that her child bearing years are over, she has absolutely no interest at all in sex.
Every time I touch her, embrace or kiss her, I can tell she's being nice about it but inside she feels repulsed by it. The last time I tried to touch her in a sexual way she said DON'T! in a loud voice. She was even tipsy at the time.
And when someone who's had a few glasses of wine isn't interested in sex, how do you think they feel about sex when sober?
And I know she expects me not to stray. And so I've been considering finding a male sex partner. It could feel desired again without having to worry about the drama of getting involved with another woman.

 

Just revisiting an old thread and was thinking along the lines of my first comment when I went back to see it.

Sounds like there are blokes who would blow you for their own satisfaction if that's all you want. Who doesn't like a Blowjob, yet to have a guy blow me but I think I would like too.

If you need an outlet and you can get what you need discretely just do it. Hookup with a Hooker or go fuck a guy who is up for it.

We all have needs and we should all try please ourselves a little more and fulfill our fuckit list if that's our desire.

 

Literally almost same situation as you

 

After a conversation that went nowhere last night, yes, she does expect me to sit at home and let my dick rot basically. What this will do is push me farther away from her sexually, and try harder on my own to find and meet guys. She just unwittingly placed more limits on our sex life. I no longer really want to have sex with her and will be the one with "headache" "not feeling well" excuses. At some point she'll ask why we don't have sex, the can of worms will be opened again, and nothing accomplished. Sex is broken in our home. I will seek it outside of our marriage. I will avoid it at home. cold shoulder for her.

 

This, exactly, going forward for me as well. Sex should not be negotiated except as a business transaction in that industry. I have an easier time talking about sex with anyone but my wife because of her warped hallmark/church/vanilla libido, and I always feel like I'm talking to a kindergarten teacher, not an adult wife...baby talk, baby words, avoidance of important talks, fuck it...moving forward silently, she was warned.

 

To me, my sexual freedom for the rest of my life (at 60, however short that may be!) outweighs the guilt of staying married and conforming. I don't care if she caught me and broadcast it, to be honest. Just the fact that I have begged her to wear one and fill me with it, repeatedly for decades and been refused says "your needs don't matter to me, or are too naughty, and I don't care". I suggested separation and divorce in the past, and she refused that too. So, I will just look for new friends and lovers to share and enjoy sex with, and going forward have less and less sex with her. She hurt me, and I don't want to give her my sex any more. I'll just be lukewarm hubby.....