The options were cheat, bi or toys

Were you at a time in your life when you had to make decisions in regards to your sexual satisfaction and needs, for whatever reason? Were you able to logicly discuss your options with your wife or husband? What kind of solutions did you come up with?

 

With my wife, she won't peg, nor is she even interested in helping me play with a toy if I buy one for myself. She's not thrilled about my bisexuality, but with so many limits to what she will do anymore, leaves me little choice. Even though she knew before we got married, and even joined me with a guy once, it's as if it never happened. Now that her libido has dropped my bi side is ready to come off the bench again. I told her as much.

 

You have to get her interested & involved again Maybe in a different way. First thing would be to ask her what she might suggest you do for sexual and emotional gratification? Everybody has a different little thing that gets their blood and mind flowing again, even if it involves another.Maybe she can embrace your bi side as a positive thing for your health ?

 

She is just wired very plain jane vanilla. She only went along with trying some wild things back in the day as a way of keeping me interested in her so we'd get married. She'll never embrace my bi-side. But it's not "news" either. She's known for decades. Time for me to just work it out and find a guy...

 

The title of this thread really caught my attention. This situation where the wife has no interest is a common theme. I am in this boat now. Toys haven’t really given me what I am looking for. I don’t have an interest in another woman. So I am looking down the bisexual road. So many things going through my mind. Chatting with another guy who is in the same boat. Logistics of it all is very challenging. I have been thinking about this for awhile and have chatted with a few people, but they all seem to flake out. Looking for people’s thoughts. What have you done to meet up when neither party can host?? How have you gotten your mind around all of it. Thanks

 

She never had any interest in toys for herself. She tried a couple things, but only once or twice and never kept anything. And in my case she never showed any interest in watching, helping, playing-nothing(with toys and me). We haven't fallen out of love at all, just out of synch and out of line sexually. As far as meeting guys? Super difficult. Either has to be a pre-planned hotel thing, or dude's gotta be single, divorced, widowed and can host, or with an enlightened wife who allows it, or...its hit n run, blow n go time cruising a park or ABS unfortunately.

 

I thoght about for a long time too, then took the plunge with a guy and found i loved it

 

What does your wife expect you to do, just sit around until you die? I was basicly in the same situation, but our situation made it possible to experiment with a very close old friend, that worked out

 

Many men who have wives that are post menopause find them selves in a situation where their spouse is not interested in sex anymore, and if they are going to have any sex at all they have to search out something outside of marriage. For me it gets too messy to have a woman friend with benefits but a man is both easier to find and much less inclined to turn into a problem.
My wife would leave me if she knew but I do think she understands the situation she has put me in and deep down doesn't want to know how I deal with it. She always lets me know when she in on her way home either from work or from being out for another reason.
So I have a friend with benefits that I meet with occasionally without her knowledge.

 

The things she was willing to try or go along with or experiment back in the day were all just to appear open minded to keep me into her so we would get married. She never really was wired for sex in a open or swinging or even hardly carnal way, and now that we are older she's not going there. I will have to find my way bisexually without her. But not without her knowing. Sucks but it is what it is. I now need a boyfriend, too.

 

I think do whatever works if no-one else gets hurt

 

Good for you! Any regrets? Things you struggle with?

 

Crazy how that is. They are not stupid. I have thought about asking my wife how we should deal with this, so maybe if the opportunity presents itself I will. I have tried to say I understand the intercourse thing. However you could provide oral sex/handjob etc… that has nothing to do with menopause from a physical perspective!

 

Just that our sex has reached the negotiation phase to any extent-is not good.

 

Completely agree!

 

Really I’m not interested in a negotiation in the least. If there is no enthusiasm in having sex with me then I’m not interested either.
My friend I meet with is looking forward to me being back in town after traveling. That’s nice to look forw to.

 

It is nice to have a tryst to look forward to.

 

Sorry for the way my reply seems, I don't remember posting to this thread even. My apologies.

 

The Only regret is that I didn't start sooner, i found I loved it

 

It's interesting the term "negotiation" came up. It seams that way when you ask, beg and grovel for pussy till you just give the fuck up!
I gave in years ago and now do as I please. We do not discuss sex at all.