The One That Got Away

She's the only girl I've ever loved. If I had a time machine I'd go back and kick my own ass. I last saw her 25 years ago. I was walking down the sidewalk and saw her sitting in 'our' bar all alone. I went in and she smiled when she saw me, like she always did, and this was after I had hurt her. I sat down with her and we had a couple of drinks and talked. It was mostly small talk; why couldn't I tell her my feelings?

Scarcely a day goes by that I don't think about her. Sometimes I dream at night that I'm with her, and then when I wake and realize where I am and remember all that's happened I have to fight tears. It's agonizing. Why can't I get over her? I wish I have never met her.

Her name is Jen and she's the most amazing person on Earth.

 

If you never met, you would not know what loving her felt. Think you are better off at least knowing

 

The knowing is what tears at me, knowing it will never be that again.

 

weird coincidence its also a Jen for me ...but i guess its a common name

sometimes i wish id never met her too but i learned to drown those thoughts with the good times memories

 

Perfect song on the radio right now for all of the unrequited loves.....

Pugs here are sleeping....and I sent newman (dog I am babysitting today)upstairs to be with Stan and Sully for awhile...so everyone could really calm down here.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyOg0mt2R2k

 

Don't get me started!

 

You're fun!

 

I gave up everything, almost lost everything, the pain was physical for a long time.. still miss, but don't hurt now.
He comes into my life sometimes, and he takes it over, I wish with him, I was stronger. Love is not all it's cracked up to be.. I will never love like that again, nor will it ever go away.. I love you!

 

http://youtu.be/ERzuePfQmgk

 

Everyone we meet in our lives, we meet for a reason. Many to teach us lessons, vice versa! That's how we learn and grow!
That girl learned something from you and you also learned something from her.
You probably didn't tell her your feelings that day for fear of rejection or maybe you were afraid you might hurt her again.
Love is hard, and it's even harder when you want something that you can't have, or can you....?

Instead of saying, I wish I never met her, say, I'm thankful that I met her because ....... this is what I learned.
I'm not sure what happened with you two but I'm pretty sure you both learned something from each other.
Anything negative that happend is actually a positive if you think hard about it.

 

I guess we can all look back and say; What if? I try not to dwell on what I can't change.

 

I've actually reconnected with the "one that got away."

If things work out, it'll be more like "the one who took a break from me" than "the one who got away."

Perhaps, if you can track down your one and only down online, you might be able to rekindle something. Life's too short to not go for it.

 

blue Buddha....this weed has an awesome stink.....I


the above post was made in error and obviously belongs with the dope heads in the stoners lounge and if a mod isn't tired of cleaning up my mistakes they can move it there or delete it or just leve it here for others to enjoy my embarrasement

 

I did this already....I have her number,,cant pull the trigger on the call just yet....she lives on Vancouver island with a gaggle of kids but I saw her picture ina couple year old newspaper article and she is looking good

good luck to you

and to Jodi if you are reading this....how YOU doin'

 

I never told anyone about mine until today ! and TBH I didn't realize I had one until today , But Yeah

If you said jump in the river I would Because it would probably be a good Idea

http://youtu.be/8w6r7Z7PuiY

 

lol

 

they've all gotten away so far..

 

My guy's name is Chris. It's been over four years now. Nothing like a 25 year old love, but still something. I still love him, and I'm sure that if I don't find someone else... that 25 years from now... I'm still going to love him so much that I still desire him like I do now. I know I will always love him because he was the only guy that didn't use and/or abuse me. He was the only friend that wasn't my friend with conditions. So, I know I will always love him. But, there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone, you know. I don't want to be in love with him 25 years from now. And my only chance of that not happening is if I find someone new to love.

However, I really, really got lucky with him. And nornally I'm not that lucky. When it comes to friends, I do have some now. But, they're alll with conditions. And that's what I always have had with friends. As for guys... they only want me for sex, or to use and/or abuse in some other way. I'm not asking for it, even though I have been accuse of that many times over. The way it goes with a guy is that a guy gives me attention, I go along with it, being open and hopeful, and then awhile later I find out that he just wants sex. Before I went along with it, thinking the guy might want me after I give him what he wants. But, now... I don't go along with it. At that point, I'm done with the guy. But, whenever I tell people how unlucky I am with guys, they think that I automatically assume that the guys wants sex, therefore I create some self fulfilling prophecy... where this particular guy just wants sex because somehow I created that situation for myself. Basically, if it wasn't for me... he would be a standup guy that wants an actual relationship, and not just sex. Fuck that bullshit. I'm sick of the woman always being blamed. I'm sick of people always blaming the individual for the problems they face. Sometimes problems are someone else's fault, not the fault of the individual who faces them. Or sometimes it's no one's fault. It's just life.

Point is, that I'm so very unlucky. So, I doubt I'll find someone.

By the way, what happened with Chris was that I ran away. Like legit... I ran away. I didn't ghost him, per se. But, I did run away, because I felt like he was too good for me. I didn't feel like I deserved him.

We did try talking again, but it didn't go well. He didn't trust me anymore because I hurt him too much.

It's like this, when he was open... I wasn't. Now, that I am open, he isn't.

But, the hardest thing I think for the both of us... is losing a friend in each other. Because we both really got each other, like no one ever did. That's why we tried again. But, we couldn't even make a friendship work.

 

Oh yea, that doesn't sound serial killer-ish at all. Not in the slightest.

 

^ wouldn't a serial killerish statement be more like "none of them have gotten away. nobody gets away. they love my basement so much that they never leave..."?