The Nerve Of My Parents

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by Strangeness, May 29, 2006.

  1. Strangeness

    Strangeness Member

    My Parents are so homophobic. Its so annoying When I finally got enough corage To tell them they said "Date a couple of girls first then tell me your gay". THE NERVE. I made this thread so others can share similer exeperiences and comment on that. UUG
  2. Closet Kid

    Closet Kid Member

    Wow, looks like your parents are in denial. Tell them you've come to terms with yourself and that you are positive that you are gay.
  3. mushie18

    mushie18 Intergalactic

    That's awful.

    You need to explain that this is not something that "dating a few girls" will change. Good luck.
  4. SageDreamer

    SageDreamer Senior Member

    Give them time to come around. If worst comes to worst, you could always find a lesbian to date who is in a similar situation.
  5. whereami

    whereami Member

    Seriously,what did you expect?
  6. lietchi

    lietchi Member

    Sounds like my parents... I said I was bisexual, and they just went "it's only because you've never had a proper relationship with a guy" and "I've seen how guys look at you". So what? :(
  7. BuffFilmBuff

    BuffFilmBuff Member

    My parents were totally clueless. They didn't freak out or anything, but they didn't seem to want to talk about it or do anything about it. They've known for about six years now.
  8. txbarefooter

    txbarefooter Senior Member

    you don't mention how old you are, but I'm guessing in the mid-teens. anyhow, yeah I think they don't want to talk or think about it and hope "this is just a phase you're going through". In my case, I told them I wasn't interested in dating girls. Mom was always pretty much in denial, she never talked about it. Dad accepted it, with reluctance but he did come around.

    as a last resort you could find a nice boy to date and bring home, that would pretty much seal the deal.
  9. llamakarma

    llamakarma Member

    i was fairly lucky. my dad told me that maybe it was just a phase and he was really awkward about it for a while but it's all fine now. my mum hated all the guys i was with before now and i thought it was because she didn't like me being gay but now i realise she was only trying to help and she was right, my first boyfriend broke my heart and my second boyfriend broke my arm! she's taken a shine to my current partner though which is fantastic because he's the first person i've truly loved.

    my boyfriend's dad was really harsh, even violent towards him because he thought his son had "chosen" to be gay and it was something he could make him change. fortunately after a while he calmed down and just about managed to apologise and accept him.
  10. Lanze

    Lanze Member

    sigh* I'm 16 and when i told my parents they kept on repeating "come back when you are 21 and tell me then whether you are gay or straight" im 100% sure that im gay in fact i wanted to go out with this guy but i dont have my license yet so i cant drive over there and my parents refuse to let me date anyone. I also reserved brokeback mountain on dvd from the library which has DVDs and my dad cancelled it and I asked him why and he said he didnt know why he did. My mom says I should hang out more with my dad (even though i "hang out" with them" pretty much evenly) and she was saying about how she hopes that gay marriage gets banned and how we should move out of massachusetts because the gay people are influencing me. She also says i shouldnt hang out with gay people because its turning me gay even though i only personally know 1 gay person in real life and i hate his guts.I think I might get a piercing on my right ear to piss them off.
  11. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

    I'd be tempted to go along with it, actually. Obviously I'm a different person now to the one I was 6 years ago, but if I'd come out today and my folks had said that, I'd seriously do it - and make sure I did a cataclysmically bad job of it.
  12. That sucks but well your WAY ahead of me. I'm 23, 10 years older than you, and I still haven't come out to the family yet. I dont' think they'll be total assholes about it, but than again I dont' know how they'll react, and it isn't the right time.

    But I think you're starting at a good point...she's in total denail, and not taking you seriously, but she didn't kick you out, scream at you, or make you go see a therapist to "cure" you of it could be worse. Give it some time, hell maybe even a year, than tell her again...good luck too and congratulations on being so brave!
  13. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

    Nah, don't tell them again. If you want them to actually take you seriously, the best thing to do is take the attitude that "well, I tried to tell them", and carry on as if they believed you. They'll struggle to dismiss it off-hand as a phase if you have a boyfriend. If they have any beef after that, you can always say "I told you so."
  14. When I came out 13 years ago, my parents said it was a phase and I would get over. When we had the discussion 6 years after that my dad told me to go out and have sex with any girl, and then I would know. I told him I'd do that if he'd go out and have sex with a man to assure his heterosexuality. He thought that was a completely rediculous request but never brought it up again.

    It's been 13, almost 14 years, and my mom first used the term "boyfriend" a few months ago. Otherwise it had always been "friend" said in that certain way.

  15. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

    21 - 13 =you came out when you were 8?!

    Hate to say it, but I'm not entirely surprised that they didn't take you seriously.
  16. white_raven

    white_raven Member

    When my parents first found out they insisted that it was a phase that I would grow out of. I guess I was about 14 then.

    I may just be optimistic, but so long as your parents didn't kick you out or anything that radical I'm sure they will grow to accept the fact that you are gay. Give them time, they probably never considered the issue of your sexuality before and will just need a little while to get used to it.
  17. zeppelin kid

    zeppelin kid Member

    Actually in my opionion every human should test the waters before they come to a conclusion about their sexuality. For instance if you think you may be gay try first a relationship with a woman and then try a man. People have a tendancy to just put a label on yourself because you had one dream or one random thought. Thats the downfall of society.

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