the lighter side of life ...

Discussion in 'U.K.' started by Maon, Jan 20, 2005.

  1. Maon

    Maon Member

    I made a cat flap yesterday!

    I threw if off a cliff .. man you should have seen it go!


    i know i know ....
  2. Jaz Delorean

    Jaz Delorean Senior Member

    I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week,


    phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs

  3. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

    giles i didn't get yours....somebody explainito?
  4. Maon

    Maon Member

    .. if you get in a flap you panic ..
  5. Jaz Delorean

    Jaz Delorean Senior Member

    no..isn't it cos birds flap? and it thought it would try and fly?

    aghh look at us discussing the meaning of jokes :p
  6. Maon

    Maon Member

    yes thst it .. its a play on words .. flap panic .. flap fly .. you are all right .. :)
  7. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

    sorry that was my fault for not getting the cat flap joke...
  8. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member


    why did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead

    why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? he was attached to the 1st monkey

    why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? he thought it was a game

    why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? he was doing a monkey impression.
  9. island dweller

    island dweller I Love Wind

    one joke to ruin them all...

    Now for social reasons in that i don't want to be labelled a racist, a pornographic obcessive etc... this joke i found in zoo magazine...

    Its offensive, crude and totally something that should not be condoned in anyway, i shall begin...

    Whats the difference between a christian blow up doll and a muslim blow up doll?

    - The muslim one blows ITSELF up...

    i actually wrote a letter to the magazine complaining about it, doubt it will get anywhere, but under the current world climate i didn't think it was a bad move to make.
  10. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

  11. island dweller

    island dweller I Love Wind

    I groaned too tho i don't think it was at the jokes ;) in Zoo magazine lol
  12. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

  13. island dweller

    island dweller I Love Wind

    A very poor attempt at an ineuendo...

    Zoo magazine = full of topless women, for many men a source of masturbatory material.

    Groan = to vent displeasure or in some cases a climax of sexual activity.
  14. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

    a right. i understood it halfway, but didn't realise that this zoo magazine was um...dirty...i got the groan bit though lol
  15. all_rhodesian_reject

    all_rhodesian_reject Sonskyn Elvis

    HA HA HA you wrote a letter to complain about a joke HA HA HA i mean its totally rad that your, you know,
  16. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

    hahahaha that was a really funny reply hahhahahaha.....oh dear i need to go back to school and socialise....
  17. island dweller

    island dweller I Love Wind

    "thingy?" - i take u mean that i am standing up against something which to most people is just playing about and making a light hearted gag. Well yes but i don't find jokes about people dying funny, especially if its about real life people or cultures. Anyone remember this piece of unfunny humour?

    What did the shark at Morcombe bay say to his mate?

    - lets have a light dinner this evening as we had chinese last night.
  18. COBALT_Blue

    COBALT_Blue Member

    A few years back I agreed to meet a close friend of mine who always greeted friends with a contintental friendly kiss. Seeing as she came from France then perhaps thats not so surprising.

    Anyhow, whilst we are discussing where to meet I thought the pawn brokers would be the easiest for her to find due to the obvious pawn broker sign sticking out the wall and the fact it was right opposite a petrol station.

    "Oh yes, I know that place, its good" she says, "I meet you right outside pawn brokers and I kiss you under the balls"

    Kinell, that was like a long wait in anticipation..............


    Nor me. I really think lifes too short to worry about it. I want to die happy like my grandad in my sleep not screaming like the passengers in his car...

  19. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

    ouch, socially sensitive issues...
  20. island dweller

    island dweller I Love Wind

    Maybe this thread should have been renamed... But yeah socially sensitive subjects, I am not a prude who dislikes any joke to do with religion, or race but just those which to me seem to fuel racism and hatred and religious segregation. Making these groups the butt of jokes is not very wise especially when the world is so fragile at the moment.

    My personal favourite joke?

    Where does Saddam Hussein Keep his shoes?
    -In a rack (iraq)

    that is out of date now, but i liked it. :D

    *i appologise for totally destroying your thread giles, but i had to vent this somewhere and to everyone else, i appologise for being a little too serious. *

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