The It's just wrong joke thread

Is it just me or do you think its wierd that only bald people die of cancer.

 

My son was diagnosed with AIDS. Understandably I was devistated. My own son, a filthy homo.

 

I just heard that in New York they are trying to make it legal to kill someone who tries to rape you. With the murder rate there it would make more sense to make it legal to rape someone who tries to kill you......fingers crossed.

 

Have any of you heard of the new program that gives new donated laptop computers to the poorist regions of Africa? It must be nice for a change for them to look foward to getting virusus that arent HIV.

 

The It's just wrong joke thread -
Ive NEVER hit and rarely even argue with a women - but this is inappropriate and funny-
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What are the three steps to solving your wife's complaining?

Left hook, Right hook, Uppercut.

 

Why beer is better than a woman:
A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

 

Me and my dad cant play Jenga anymore because of the 9/11 attacks.........he was killed instantly when the first plane hit.

 

Some people say the hardest part about surfin porn is cleaning the keyboard..Not true. The hardest part about surfin porn is.....hiding it from the librarian.

 

I tell ya wut im getting sick and tired of these women that think they gotta talk all the time. The one i met lastnight was even talking durring sex she said things like "HELP" & "get off me)
"

 

What's more gross than a train load of dead babies?

I'll only give the answer if someone asks me to.

 

You are so wise to not ask.

 

What is it already??????

 

Unloading them with pitchforks.

 

Not wrong--but funny

A lawyer, a doctor, a little boy and a priest were all out on a small plane for an afternoon flight when the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the pilot's best efforts, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot yelled out to his passengers that they'd better jump, grabbed a parachute and bailed out.
Unfortunately, that left only three remaining parachutes. Grabbing one, the doctor said, "I am a doctor and I save lives, so I must live," and he jumped.
The lawyer then grabbed a parachute and said, "I am the smartest man in the world. I definitely deserve to live." Then he jumped.
Looking at the young boy, the priest said, "Son, I have been fortunate to have lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."
Handing the parachute back to the priest, the little boy said, "Don't worry, Father. The smartest man in the world just jumped out with my backpack!"

 

A person walking through a cattle show stops to ask a guy sitting next to a bull what time it is.

The guy next to the bull grabs the bulls balls and raises them up a little bit and says "It's 10 minutes after 3:00".

Stunned by seeing this, the person asks how is it possible to tell time by raising a bulls balls!?

The guy with the bull says "I had to raise them up so I could see the clock on the wall over there".

 

I was buying shaving foam;the assistant asked me what grooming products I usually use.

You should'a seen her face when I said internet chat rooms!

 

A lady is taking golf lessons and after her lesson the pro says " go out and play the front nine and come back for advice." She returns and says " I got stung by a bee between the first and second holes." The pro says " Oh, your stance is too wide".

 

What do fat chicks and bricks have in common?

They both get laid by Mexicans.

 

Why do Jewish men get circumcised?

They know Jewish women like getting 10% off.

 

Q: What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?

A: Getting them out of their wheel chairs.