The It's just wrong joke thread

You may-but you have to pwomise to kiss each piercing,1st.....

 

I knew a girl back when I was a teenager who was real conservative. We got her drunk one night---her first taste of alcohol. She got pretty wild and she and a couple of guys started talking about gettimg tattoos. She took off with them and I didn't see or hear from her again---until the next day when she called me in a panic. She had just woken up in a hangover, and discovered that she had gotten her breasts tattooed the night before: her left one now read, 'HOT', and her right one, 'COLD.'

 

What's black and blue and hates sex? Rape victim.

 

One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attaked them and knocked them out.
When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.
The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."
So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.
Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed.
The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"
The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."

 

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean, and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy. "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87." "That's nothing," says Sean. "Here's one named Patrick O'Toole. It says here that he was 95 when he died." Just then, Seamus yell out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!" " What's was his name!" asks Paddy. Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker and exclaims:"Miles, from Dublin."

 

^i thought this was the wrong joke thread, not the lame joke thread.

anyways, how do you stop five black guys from raping a white woman.

throw them a basket ball

 

why do black guys cry during sex?













because of all the mace

 

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?





Christopher Walken.

 

So, a black guy, a rapist, and a homophobe walk into a bar. I was like "Hey Kobe, can I get an autograph?"

 

What do you call an Amish blacksmith?

A mechanic.

 

how is that a wrong joke? or even funny?

 

Have you ever seen a black person on the Jetsons?


No, looks like a good future doesn't it.

 

My granddad died on his 98th birthday.

Shame really,we were only halfway through giving him the bumps.

 

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?








A pimple waits until you're 13 before it comes on your face.

 

How is knocking up your girlfriend like locking your keys out of your car?








Both problems go away with the aid of a coathangar.

 

What did the blind, deaf, and dumb kid get for Christmas?


Cancer

 

What's better than winning a medal at the special olympics?


Not being retarded

 

How does Alice Cooper change a lightbulb?

Well first he bites off the old one.......

 

What's the difference between February and Amy Winehouse?



February can still make it to 28

 

McDonalds is releasing the new Amy Winehouse value meal.



It's just coke and ice