The Girl Who Is Never Approached

A lot of these bizarre threads seem made up - like this one and the one in which a young lady asks "Should I get a credit card for my mother?" It's hard to believe they're real. Of course, I wouldn't have believed the people who visited Walmart in the United States if I hadn't seen the clips on YouTube, so . . .

 

You might be more attractive than you think! And in fact, be gorgeous. Thus, most guys are simply too intimidated to ask you out.

This happens more often than you would think.

Story from my past...........

When I was 23 I went to my five-year h.s. reunion. I'd just finished college and was ready to ship-off to Navy pre-flight school in Florida. I went to h.s. in California, btw.

So...at the reunion, I run into a gorgeous young woman who we will call Linda--since that's her real name. LOL. Linda was probably the hottest chick at the whole school when I was there. Blonde, blue-eyed, typical Cali surfer girl looks, head cheerleader, all that stuff. So of course, though I always crushed badly on her, and was really not very shy myself, and I did OK with the girls (I ran track and played baseball) I still thought she was out of my league. So did all my friends. And we never saw her around with any guys, now heard of her hooking up with any of our classmates.

But we didn't think this was weird, because.......the rumor about Linda always was that she was dating some college dude that went to nearby San Jose State. This of course made perfect sense of course so we never questioned it. In fact it just confirmed to us that she was out of our league.

So....me and Linda have a couple drinks at our Reunion. I get brave and admit to her that I had a huge crush on her during our senior year. But that I was too timid to ask her out...figuring she would reject me.

Wrong! She says. For one...she always liked me too, but figured I wasn't interested in her since I never asked her out. I told her this was because we knew she was going out with a college dude. She says "what college dude?" LOL.

See? It was all rumor. Poor hot Linda never had a major hook-up or bf all during high school. Because all her classmates figured she was too hot for them. The irony here is huge. Dozens of other, less beautiful and just OK looking girls got more dates than Linda did. Also...Linda confided in me that she would've gone out with me in a heartbeat had I asked her.

Man...that one really bummed me out. Just thinking how many cred points I would've gotten from all my bros back in h.s had I hooked up with her. Ahh...like everybody says, "If I could only go back there knowing what I know now."

But I took a valuable lesson away from that night at the Reunion: Never, ever, ever, bet intimidated to ask somebody out. Go for it! Life is too short.

So, for you, I would say to go ahead and ask some guy out that you like. You really have nothing to lose. If you're 21 then your concern over peer pressure and what people think of you should be far less than it was when you were in high school. Right? I know mine was. By the time I was in my mid-20's (I'm almost 37 now) I would walk up to any woman I was attracted to and ask her out. I could get shot down five times in a night, like at a club, and didn't care. Back in high school one rejection would have way-laid me.

Hope this helps/ And best wishes.

C

 

That was a very thoughtful and encouraging post, Chris! Glad you are showing a new, more comfortable (and less argumentative) side of yourself . I like it.

 

In my opinion you're fine just the way you are. If you're worried about men not approaching you, you shouldn't be. Men are such complete idiots that it probably means they just know they can't use you.

 

I met my man at a party when I was seventeen, he was shy so he did not come on to me. I came on to him which was a good call on my part, he told me that he did not come up to me because he was intimidated by me. Had I not went to him we would never had our amazing twelve year relationship.

I never really had your problem as I am kind of a bold person when it comes to this situation. When I would see a guy that I was interested I would go up to him or make it obvious that I want him to come to me: eye contact and smile maybe drop something in front of him so he has an excuse to come up to you. If a guy can't handle me being a little bold he probably can't handle me anyway.

Good luck

 

There is so much wrong with this post.